Isn't Pittman who says that affair start with lack of respect from one partner?

I think Todd's wifehad lost all respect for him. Now that he's recovering physically and that he doesn't accept her lies, she may put her act together.

She keeps calling more and more, no?

LOL Beth. You silly Americans.LOL

I think Todds wife is a control freak.

I look forward to the day I can have a "dirty weekend".

I also look forward to Pio's take on what Todd's WW may be up to.

Even if ex had to decided to come clean with me (provided he did have an affair) & want to come back, there was a point of no return. There is a point when all the lies, all the selfish behavior, the lack of respect etc. makes the decision to love the WW spouse a final no.

Todd, you are referring to your WW as STBXW. Does this mean you've filed papers for D? If I had to guess Todd, I'd say your WW/STBXW will go for the money in a BIG way. Sorry to be disrespectful. I would hate to see you get your hopes up for a quick D only to find your WW/STBXW dragging things out looking for every penny she can get & being just plain miserable to punish you.

My D took 1 1/2 years & it wasn't very complicated or acrimonious.

I won't be around until later but I most certainly will check back in.

Me too. I don't have a clue.



Yes, that would be my expectation as well. When I think of my friends who got D, the two spouses pledged to each other to be fair and civil and split the assets down the middle. Then, after their attorneys, relatives, friends and neighbors get finished with them, it is the war of the roses.

STBXW and I had previously discussed D and we both agreed to use one attorney to simplify things. My guess is that will break down when her two best friends have their way with her. We have been married a long time and state law provides for a 50/50 asset distribution unless other factors are involved, like infidelity. I am willing to split 50/50. Incidentally, I had a friend who approached his wife about a D and said that they would split everything 50/50. She agreed until her sister was finished with her. Then she got a very aggressive attorney and took it to court. He ended up with approximately 80% of the assets. Their testimony established that he had offered 50/50 and she later went against it. The judge wanted to send a message. My friend ended up buying XW a smaller home so she and DD could be comfortable. But, his lesson is not lost on me.

On a related note, I hired an agency to conduct asset searches in four states. Nothing unknown to me in STBXW's or OM's names. If I am correct that there is money missing, it could be offshore. Sickening. OM's has a brother who is a financial advisor so he could have easily enlisted his help. Just don't know at this point.

Monsieur Le Superhomme,

I'm going to have a French manicure in your honor today!

Is it my imagination or you had a full night of sleep?

Wow, that's really impressive.


Nam,

I'm looking foward to see the pics of your more recent work.


Beth,

I'm from México, México city, aka Chilangolandia.


Buenos días señoras y señores, niños y niñas, caramelos y bolitas.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi Larousse,

No, I am afraid you have me mixed up with someone else. I went to sleep fairly early, think it was 12:30, but woke up at 3:00 and have been up since.


Oh, I just love Chilangolandias. Especially the deep fried type that they put guacomole and sour cream on.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Okaaaaaay,

considering that most Mexican food has guacamole and cream you could be talking of:

Chimichangas
Enchiladas
Enmoladas
Quesadillas
Quesadillas suizas
Quesadillas mixtecas
Tostadas
Burritos (fried burritos are chimichangas)
Gordas
Sopes
Flautas (Tacos fritos)
Pambazos
tlacoyos

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> :grin

I don't think I have mentioned this but STBXW is buying a condo. She closes tomorrow. It is a good sign that she is prepared to move on. Now, she and her two best friends will all be condo owners. BTW, they all drive the same make of car as well. Is it just me or is there a pattern here? They are all alcoholics. They all had affairs.

Todd,

your WW GF's are from Puerto Rico too?

Yeah, that's what I said!

Are you sure?

BF1 is from here; BF2 is actually her older sister so yes, BF2 is from PR.

Hi Everybody,

Boy....that was a particularly LONG week!



Pio....that was not a trolley 'ding,ding,ding', that was a bell in my...HEAD! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

...do you celebrate Xmas in your SA 'compound', or not, or how do you?



Geeshh...stph20..and I thought I had problems! The cat ate it, what else? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />



Hi Beth...well...as you can see...I changed my mind...email me and I will 'personally' give you the link....I was 11...in Quebec...



...you sure know how to rub it in, Beth! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />



...like I said, Beth, you SURE know how to run it in! Next thing you're going to tell me is that you can do it ALL year round!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />


Cind...guess you don't mind looking like a 'duck'....is that how you are doing your 'walk'?


How often do you see each other, Cind? Is this a 'serious' R?

Hi Nams,

...can't remember reading a post about your 'decision' to go back to school so you can teach, or not, etc.....have you made one?

Hi BigK...Happy Anniversary....and let's know go into details! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />



It's a new low, isn't Todd?...can't blame it on the alcohol anymore..I am sorry...a WS is very very insensitive...drunk or sober! ...you could always consider NOT speaking to her...and save yourself some pain, Todd.....(I know....broken record...I know <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />) ...just hate seeing people hurting needlessly!!!



Can't blame you for 'putting D off' for a while, Todd.



No...it's you... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

...next thing you know someone will be telling me to keep my posts 'short'! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

"On the Day"

Jackson Browne

You really need someone on your side
But you run away and hide
Whenever somebody's going to get through
You've got this wall in front of you

You put your arm around me and smile
But you're thinking all the while
Yeah, your friends only go so far
However close friends think they are

On the day
On the day you fall in love
Gonna pray
You're gonna pray that your love is enough

You've had the world in the palm of your hand
Since you turned from child to man
No one can tell you a thing you don't know
You see your life as a one man show

But you're not whole
There are things you don't control
You're going to know what I'm talking about
On the day love finds you out

On the day
On the day you fall in love
Gonna pray
You better pray--

It's your life, you try to know
Which way the answers lie, which way to go
'Cause you survive, don't mean you grow
Open your eyes, look out below
Look out--

On the day
On the day you fall in love
Gonna pray
You better pray

Hi there TKO,

ToddAC congrats on the great news!

Welcome back Steph

Beth, you sound like you are hanging tough as usual...how do you do it?

Welcome back from SF Luna!

Nams, do you have any snaps of the Holiday pieces yet?

Larousse, it sounds like you are giving Todd a run for his money with the lyrics and politics

BK, I envy the "dirty" w/e...I'm sure you have created some interesting memories

Pio, how goes it?

Hello to Cinderella, Believer, FF and the rest of the gang.

Took me hours to catch up but I did it (and the crowd does the wave).

WH wants to come home. Doubt we will get anywhere in negotiations since he is trying to focus on me and what I need to do/be if he comes back and not on his willingness to do things etc. He says he would agree to conditions placed by me a few months ago r/t open, honest etc. He is all set with arrangements to stay gone if I do not decide to work on M with him. He basically feels like I am dictating everything, "as you always do".

My kids are starting to show signs of wear/tear of the separation but I told WH I refuse to put them through this again so unless we are both 100% agreeable to each others terms/conditions we can forget even trying. I hate this.
If I could wave a wand and make him disappear life would be so much easier...ok, I know that is all in the fairy tales so I will come back to reality. I still have no idea why he has had so many OWs and how he plans on changing that behavior. Until we get somewhere on that I don't even want to waste time discussing anything else. Am I crazy or does that sound logical?

Hi 2much,

I can't remember....has your WS at least consented to N/C with OWs, and has he informed them all <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> (arghh!??) in writing about it, and that his wife and family are going to be his priority in the future?

I don't think he has, has he?...he doesn't want to 'burn bridges' in case it doesn't 'work out' between the two of you....

...well, this is what I call...cake-eating...one foot inside the door and one foot out....and it won't work....

....if so...I would say 'no go' for sure 2much....you would be wasting your time....not to mention having to put you and your kids through a 'rollercoaster' of emotions, again, and the kids without having one WORD to say about it!

Hold on tight, 2much.....so you don't fall off!<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

((((((((((((((2much)))))))))))))

Hi 2much,

Do you have another wave of the wand left in you? If so, I'll give you the location coordinates.




It sounds rational. Dr. Harley makes it clear that you cannot recover a marriage when there are three (or more, in your case) involved in it.

Pio-Diddy,

If someone in the west says the word Muslim or Mohammed, 2-3 million people will mass in the streets of all the Muslim counties. What is it that those people do for a living, or don't do, that so many can hit the streets in protest? And what are they chanting?