H and his mom are driving me nuts. MIL is nuts.
Either as part of his recovery plan or due to heat from his parents, H announced via email this week that he wanted to take the kids to his parents today. I suggested he speak with the kids first. Unilateral decisions don't go down too well with teenagers. If DS had the day off, would he prefer to drive the hour to the grandparents or see his girlfriend? DD had back-to-back sleepovers this weekend. Would she be in any shape to go? There was no negotiating. It HAD to be this weekend.
As it turned out, DS went with his dad but DD is asleep on the couch. H hadn't seen the kids since late March. I think DD makes him uncomfortable. He didn't spend too much time convincing her to go. The Grandparents haven't seen or talked to the kids since Christmas. I've been Plan B-ing the grandparents but all the people involved are capable of dialing phones and typing emails. MIL didn't send her usual Valentine, St Patrick's Day or Easter cards but we did.
Of course, you can guess who is getting blamed for all the silence...moi! The fact their son had/is having an affair, has consciously destroyed our family and never initates contact with his own kids has no bearing on it. I am the convenient scapegoat for the whole thing.
This afternoon, when H came, we had a heated discussion. Apparently, Grandma wants her little red wagon back. Well, actually the Radio Flyer wagon H had as a kid. On a visit sixteen years ago, they put the wagon in my Jeep and I was made to schleep it 1500 miles across the country to our home. When they were small, I hauled the kids many places in that wagon. We have good memories of that. When we moved back here, the wagon came with us. I've always envisioned it going to MY grandchildren.
Now, MIL has back problems. She is demanding the wagon back so she can use it for gardening. I suggested H buy her a proper garden cart for an early birthday present. Certainly the twisting motion of pulling a wagon wouldn't be good for a back. My inlaws are pretty comfortable financially. MIL usually buys whatever she wants. Why not get something with a higher, more elderly-friendly bed? How about a nice push thing with places for tools and a seat?
Negative. H insists that his mother WANTS the wagon. I thought he was going to have a tantrum. There is no reasoning with irrational people.
With a small amount of bad grace, I took the wagon out of the garage and gave it to H. If MIL needs it this badly, she can have it. Dementia? Pettiness? A perceived need? Actually, I suspect that BIL has finally gone through the channels to adopt. Perhaps MIL has found more worthy grandchildren to gift the family wagon to. The politically incorrect 60's child in me was chanting "Indian-giver, Indian-giver..."
Some days, it's tough being a lighthouse...
