H and I are in recovery from 2 EA's of mine. During the period where I was "abducted by aliens" and thought I was actually going to leave and have a life with OM#2, H told both our sets of parents what was going on. I have seen his parents since then and things seem to be okay on that front, I didn't sense any hostility whatsoever.

I haven't seen or talked to my family at all. H called my sister and wanted her to come here, when this all came out, she didn't and told him to tell my dad, which he did. I'm pretty upset with her for telling H to tell my sick, elderly father to be honest...I'm not exactly sure of all the details of those conversations, I was quite upset when I learned H had told them (embarrassed, ashamed...duh!). I don't think my mother knows anything, but I'm sure everyone else does and I feel terribly uncomfortable at the prospect of visiting them. It's made worse because ten years ago, during a period of time when I was leaving H, I involved my sister (for help moving and help keeping H away) and it all blew up in my face, causing lots of problems. H and reconciled obviously, but it took quite a while for that tension to go away. I learned never to involve family in marital matters that's for sure!

At first I was quite angry at H, but I believe he was trying to do whatever possible to show me how crazy I was. I'm sure he didn't understand at the time that I would have to discover that on my own. So I'm not too upset with him for that now. His world was falling apart, he was doing whatever he could to save it.

I think my sister probably thinks I'm a ding a ling and I have no idea what my dad thinks. I'm thinking of how many conversations they must've had about how crazy I am and I don't know if I can get past it.

If anyone has any advice on what I should say or do, if anything, I'd love to hear it.

Right now, I'm just glad they are not close by and I can deal with it in my own time.

Mom, it might be a good idea to call up your family members and just bring it up yourself. That is part and parcel of facing the consequences of your behavior. Tell them you used stupid, tragic bad judgment and have seen the error of your ways. Tell them what you are doing to save your marriage and apologize to them for the worry and shame you caused them. If they see you are remorseful and willing to face the music, they will start to REGAIN some respect for you again.

Don't hide out from them. Good character is not demonstrated in being perfect, but in how you handle it afterwards. Just face them head on like a LADY, Mom.

I'm fairly new here myself, but I have learned in life that if you face things head on and own up to your actions it is never as bad as you think.

I would call your family and be honest with them. Admit to them that you got caught up in something wrong and just weren't thinking straight. Tell them that you have a lot to prove to a lot of people but you are willing to put the hard work in to do so. Thank them for sticking by you in advance and for trying to understand.

I don't know that there is anything magical you can say that will change what happened in the past.