**snort** I have to admit was my favorite part! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Course, it takes a "great intellect" to recognize one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Seriously, the points you made were extremely relevant and I am glad you weighed in with your opinion. I am really enjoying your posts and am glad to hear you are doing well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

sharp intellect

yeah

riiiiiiiiiiiight

dumb Texan

shaddup, you silly granola eater! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I still have my moments. Especially tough breaking years of bad habits of being a conflict avoider. Even today when there was a conflict, my mind automatically jumps to thinking this won't work... I should be divorcing.

And then I talk myself down, look at where I've come from and keep going.

My W still says she doesn't know if she'll ever "love me enough"... whatever that means exactly. Right now I am concentrating on myself... and I am seeing small steps forward from herself each day as well.

Maybe one day this will be a boundary of mine that I expect and need more from her, but for now, I'm doing well. Plus there is the fact that I have my 2 awesome sons to think about... and we have been relatively successful in keeping our problems away from the boys. I'm sure they have been affected in small ways, but they are doing great. I'm coaching their baseball team, and we just came in 2nd on the weekend in their regional playoffs... good enough to move on to the cities.

This was a tough weekend for me due to triggers. Last year when I coached one of my sons, my W missed all the playoff games and missed seeing him win the championship... she was with OM at the time. This year she was at all the games... only missed when my older son won an award from the league... she was off getting ice. I haven't talked about the triggers with her... it won't help... just something I need to get past and move forward. I think she knows without me saying it. She did ask me if I remembered what the day was yesterday... the day we started dating 18 years ago. I remembered. The 1st anniversary of DD is this weekend. I think I'll be fine. I don't hold onto triggers very often... they just come and go.

Thanks for the interest and your help in the past.

By the way, do all Texans actually wear cowboy hats??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Shaden

Of course we all wear cowboy hats! And ride horses! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It sounds to me like things are getting better for you, Shaden. It takes time to get over an affair and I suspect it will get better and better for you.

I am very glad you have identified conflict avoidance as something you want to work on. It is such a pernicious habit that simply erodes love and respect, especially for women, I suspect. It is much easier for me to love and respect someone who I know will not allow me to run over him. And I think you made a big first step in that direction when you contacted the OMW.

I know that was a very hard step for you to take, but you met that challenge like a champ. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Shaden...

Mr. W and I just said the other night how glad we were to see you posting...We love your style...YOU ROCK GRANOLA, BIRKENSTOCK BOY!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

P.S. A recent picture of Mel, without her hat, click here...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> OH I'M SO GONNA GET IT!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!

ROTTBLMAO

What "filly" nonsense.

Mr. W

p.s. - I concur with Mrs. W...good to see you around adding your thoguhtful insight and experience. Wonder if Mrs. Shaden would enjoy posting...we need another recovered couple team in here.

OMG, I am gonna kill her!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Now, you know my hair wasn't fixed up in that picture, you dirty dawg! Here is a better picture: Mel with her hair fixed proper! <...ns/grin.gif" alt="" />

Awww Mel, Why the long face? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Anyway, WHOA THAR MELLY, stop yer "whinning" You Gotta Catch Me First!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W<-------Jockeying to Saddle "The Great MelodyLane" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Bumper Sticker on Mel's Pick 'Em Up...s/grin.gif" alt="" />

Yor Hare Does Look Mighty Purdy Thar Mel!!! Yew jest git it did? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. Dubya<----Triflin' Ho (sayin' it before Mel does <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />)

You triflin' ho! **snort** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You can't be serious... there is actually a mag for "trailer park living"????? Only in America, Eh!

My favorite up here in Canada is "Celebrity Igloos".


Mel, is there a muzzle to attach to that harness? I guess that's why you do all your talkin' online? Pretty big keyboard I bet.

Mrs. W... forgive my naivette... but what the heck is a "Birkenstock Boy". I searched online and just got shoes as an answer.

Mr. W... I'll try to get Mrs. Shaden on. I'm curious to see what she would call herself. If she gets on here even half of the good advice that I got from you, then we'll be allright. Just seeing how you and Mrs. W are doing can give a guy a lot of hope. There is some good that can come from all of this crap.

"crap"...sorry Mel...pottymouth again.

Shaden

Shaden...

If Trailer Park Living wasn't your speed, perhaps this will be more to your liking, or at least give you a chuckle Man, I hope you aren't French...I'm gonna be eatin' some serious crow 'round here all danged day if you are...That's alright though, Lord knows I've eaten quite a bit around here in the last year...sigh...I've come to think of crow as "the other white meat"...It's actually pretty good eatin'...LOL!

Forgive the "birkenstock" goof...Mel referenced somethin' 'bout you and granola, (OBVIOUSLY HER FAULT ENTIRELY...*snicker*...look at me shifting BLAME) Anyway, I ASSumed that you were an American "silly left coaster"...You know, one of them thar "nut-n-berry eatin', granola chompin', birkenstock wearin', peace preachin', kum-ba-yah singin', flower-child hippy" kinda dudes...Didn't realize that you are actually a "silly Canadian furriner"...So how 'bout I just call you "Blame Canada Boy", fair enough? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. Dubya

P.S. Check out what hangs over Mel's fireplace if you really want to get a peek into her world!!! That girl is sho nuff SQUIRRELY!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Nope... not French. I'm still trying to figure out why we have to have 2 official languages here in Canuck land. I took French in Elementary School, but my mind was just too slow. While the others were onto the next sentence, I was still translating back and forth to English.
As a kid, we drove to the East Coast and through Quebec. My Dad went in to a grocery store to buy some milk. He tried asking for some in English. They said... Lait??? ... My Dad thought they were telling him he was too late, the store was closed. We left.

Granola... an excellent example of miscommunication, Mrs. W. If you would be so kind as to go back in your notes, you will see that Mel was referring to Pep with the Granola comment. Can't shift blame here. I should be on the treadmill right now, but it's your fault I'm not, 'cause I have to fix your mistake.

Mel's World??? Scary Texans.

Gotta go get ready for my son's Elementary School graduation. They are growing up toooooo fast.

Shaden

Good grief, you have been up there so with those flatheaded yankees so long you can't tell the difference between a silly left coaster and a silly foreigner?!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Pep is the silly granola eater, Shaden is the silly Canadian! DUH! Didn't ya notice his politeness issues?? Eh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Um, DUH? I plead blonde... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Sorry Shaden, I'm still blamin' Mel, if I think long enough, I'm sure that I can find some reason to make it her fault...She's always up to somethin'... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Mel that is one fine squirrel that you got there above your fireplace...TASTEFUL, EVEN!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

POLITENESS ISSUES!!!?????

OK, Mel... why don't we talk about the fact that you're a typical Texan who barges into people's lives with more cockyness than that da_n rooster from LooneyTunes, and with the complete confidence of "I'm a Texan, so I know everything" attitude... everyone sit at my feet and I'll fix your problems for you." "If it weren't for the fact that God ain't good enough for Texas, he would be sitting at my feet as well." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

How's that for politness, miss "I'm gonna shoot a squirrel and pick my teeth with it before I hang it on my wall". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Us Canadians aren't always polite, we just do our part when dealing with "foreigners" to help keep the idea out there that the World loves Canadians and hates Americans. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Geez, no wonder I've got conflict avoidance issues, my whole darn country has it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

UMMM, Mrs. W... are you still blaming Mel, or are you now shifting blame to your blondeness. Which one is it, or does both work for ya? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Shaden

PS... sorry if I offended anyone... gotta keep feeding my politeness issue. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

sigh... I am sorry, Shaden, I know you are trying very hard to overcome your politeness issues, but it will take more than one post to convince me you have overcome a lifetime of HYPER-politeness! You silly Canadians have SERIOUS politeness issues that can't be overcome in one brave post! You do not FOOL ME FOR ONE AMERICAN SECOND!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> EH??


Well, compared to you silly foreigners, we DO know everythang! Just ask us!! **snort** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You are right, Mel.

That post was so difficult for me. I was shaking after, and almost went on and deleted it.

Do they have "Nice Guys Anonymous" down there in the States... what am I thinking... if they did, there wouldn't be anyone to attend.

...joking aside, I guess it's easy to tell that I do suffer from Nice Guy Syndrome (my own diagnosis...but not too difficult to figure out)... one of the many reasons that led to my W's A. She was bored... and had a lot of mixed feelings over her H being so "nice"... mostly a loss of respect.

I used to tell myself that there is nothing wrong with being a "nice guy". But this is completely wrong. It is true that there is nothing wrong with doing nice things, or being a caring or sensitive guy. There is nothing wrong with being a quiet, calm guy. But being a "Nice guy" just gives away personal power and control and loses respect all around. It's interesting reading posts from many newcomers who sound exactly like I did. It's sad.

I hope its obvious I'm working on this.

By the way... I think Americans (in general) are pretty cool. Not trying to be nice... just stating a fact. One question... my son was asking me this the other day... what exactly is a "Yankee"?

Shaden