I am so confused right now that I don't know what to do anymore. My H has had another A and has said he doesn't know what he wants. He didn't make any effort to give up the OW. She ended it when I caught them trying to meet up in another town. He has still tried a couple of times to contact her to find out why she doesn't even want to be friends. He told my SIL that if I forced him to make a decision now that i wouldn't be happy with it. He doesn't seem to care one way or the other if our marriage works but says he will put 100% into trying to make it work until July 4th then we will sit down and discuss how things are going at that time. He also thinks it is okay to sleep in the same bed as me. We have a lot of past problems together and individually that have hurt our marriage. We have been married 12 yrs and have 3 kids. He doesn't want to even consider the kids when it comes to deciding whether he wants to stay or go. He says he is so confused right now. How should I go about dealing with having him make up his mind or should I take the initiative and maybe move him into another bedroom? I am tired of living my life in limbo and waiting around on him. I don't deserve to be treated this way and won't. Help!

Welcome.

I am sure some BS will chime in with great support and advice. I am a FWS.

But his comment:

"he will put 100% into trying to make it work until July 4th then we will sit down and discuss how things are going at that time."

is HIGHLY suspicious and means he already has plans in MHO.

Dont wait for him to decide. Decide if you want to save your M now, then read everything on this site and make a Plan...including exposing the A to his family, your family, your friends ASAP!

We had to go out of town for his Grandmother's funeral since I posted my question last. Thanks for the advice. Both of our families do know and it doesn't seem to make a difference. It was a long drive in the car with the kids. Tension was so thick you couldn't cut it with a knife all weekend. We fought last night and haven't hardly spoke at all today. Last nights comment from him was that this past week has been the worst yet since he set the July 4th date yet he still felt it was okay to still sleep in the samr bed with me. He asked where do we go from this this morning in our limited conversation. I said counseling would be a start and he said wouldn't go together for marriage counseling but he would go by himself to get help. I said if he wasn't willing to go together then pack his bags and leave immediately. He chose not to but why not is what I want to know because he told me last night that he was making himself stay here. I have told him to leave before on a couple of other occassions but didn't leave then either. What is going on in his mind?

Sounds like he wants his happy family and his girlfriend too. I would see an attorney for financial protection, and then stay in Plan A for a couple of months.

Is the other woman married?

She wants nothing to do with him anymore and she is in the process of getting a divorce. He says this has nothing to do with her anymore and that it has to do with our problems in our marriage. He says we don't communicate at all and never have. I finally told him today to either commit to making this marriage work (which is what God wants) or take the easy way out (Satan's way). His reply thus far today is that his emotions are so confused and he doesn't know what he wants.

I couldn't tell from your answer if you had exposed to OMW or not.

Could you please clarify?

LA