Yes my exWs should have used birth control. When others suggested that the OW got pregnant on purpose to try and keep my exWS as her "sugar daddy" or just plain "daddy" (he was 47 and she was 21), I commented that things like that didn't happen anymore! Nobody got pregnant on purpose involving an innocent life! My friends told me I was naive. Guess they were right!

The OW knew my exWS wouldn't abandon a child of his. And she's right. Four years later they're still living together in spite of his many protests that he still "really loves me", that "she's a self-centered, immature little b$&ch", that he stays "for the sake of the child since the OW is so immature, etc, etc, etc," Blah, blah, blah...

Bottom line is that the male WS isn't the one who CAN get pregnant. He can't make the final decision and take action as to what happens when a pregnancy happens. In my mind that makes the woman ultimately responsible for a pregnancy. Even if it wasn't intentional. She knew for SURE if pregnancy was even a remote possibility! Short of having a complete hysterectomy, odds are that pregnancy is possible, even if not probable, when having engaged in sexual play or intercourse.

Yes, it takes the joining of a sperm and egg to get pregnant. But, it's never the male who gets pregnant...at least not at this point in time!

yes, I believe in my case the 2nd was on purpose while the 1st may have been accidentally, maybe. It would take God himself telling me it was an accident the 2nd time for me to believe it. Why am I still in my m? Sometimes I honestly don't know. I didn't even find out about these alleged (no DNA and OW refuses) 2 children until 10 months ago, when they were ages 15 & 9. First time, was either on purpose or was complete stupidity on both OW and my H's part, she was 23 & he was 25. Old enough to know better, that to at least use bc. Second time, 29 & 31, and OW claims it just happened during a secret visit with h and 1st OC because she had just gotten out of a bad ltr r with a bf. Right, I am supposed to believe that. What makes me suspicious about the 1st time too, well, why would anyone lie about the existence of a child and even tell the child not to tell anyone who her dad is because he has a w?

Yes, in the case of the 2nd I don't see how it couldn't be on purpose.

CH I'm really surprised at this. But oh well.

Ya know I am not your ow and can't speak for her, but maybe she is so upset over NC that is why she sent that letter and ranted about everything else.

As far as him not discussing anything about your family's life you will probaly never know. Only the two of them really know what happened in that affair. He can tell you anything he wants, but that means nothing really.

Honestly though even though it does, does it really matter what he told her? While in the affair he was looking to woo her etc., and most of the ws will lie there butts off. He is not seeing the ow anymore, he is working at rebuilding his marriage, putting his family back together. Of course this is JMHO.

I'm sure there are quite a few woman (regardless of title) that do try and get pregnant on purpose for what ever there reason is, does not mean that all do or that is there ajenda per say. I know pregnancy was the last thing I wanted, but we (noticed I said WE) were careless it happened, so here I am.

Since there is nc and she can't get to him I'd just be thankful that you only have to pay what you do (hey 400 a month is not enough for anyone to live off of) and work with your husband to rebuild.

*nevermind*

Mary,

I don't understand what your talking about...what letter? Oh...was the second part for someone else?

Why are you surprised Mary...my OW was in a hospital bed, about 2 hours after giving birth, looking for my H's SS#...she and her H wanted to get paid. Not to mention, rumor is that this was not going to be her 1st OC...now I can't verify that, but the source is reliable.

Crazy............it seems like I read your post wrong. My BAD. I thought it had said all Ow's. Kwim? Read it over and I know your story and I agree w/you. They were asking for things that does not happen until you go to court and AFTER Paternity is established. So my bad....pleae excuse my "surprised at you".

As far as the letter, I was talking to the person who started the thread.

Gotcha....no problem.

Cool Crazy. Again sorry my bad!

If the men would keep their JOHNSON outta other women other than their wives, noone would have to blame the OW for getting pregnant on purpose.

Everyone shares the blame in my book.

Startin, with all due respect all of the bs here know that, accept it too.

Ow, many times over, bank on a human baby to cement the deal with MM.

Trouble is many, and most often, the mm flees back to the w, and oc is forgotten and pushed aside.

Just like the ow that he put his JOHNSON in- in the first place.

Fantasy worlds are just like game boy or x-box, not for real, a substitute for real life. When losing in x-box or game boy you shut it off and regroup.

Mostly like mm and ow, mm shut down and regroup with reality, c's, life in their home base.....ow and oc shoved aside like yesterdays news.

Too bad.
Having sex with someone that easy is usually just as easy to forget or want to forget it ever happened.

If a man is married and using you for intercourse and other *make me feel good for the moment* fun, results are for the most part disastrous, for everyone.

It is not always what the married guy wanted, a pregnancy 'outs' the affair.

If the ww spouse wants things to go his way, he needs to x out ow/oc and work diligently on his marriage and his family.

What a price to pay for all for having your JOHNSON where it doesn't belong, huh?

Oh, Yeah, many ow do the deed by lying about BC, but then again, what can you expect from a couple of liars?

Ahhhh if were only as easy as telling men not to put their Johnsons elsewhere...

I suspect if men could carry a child there would be no need for this forum...

What do you all think?

I just think its just as much the MANS fault by not wearing protection. A wayward husband is going to take the OW word that she is on birth control??? Dont some of yall think the man might know she isnt totally honest, and he doesnt care if she get pregnant? Maybe the wayward husband got HER pregnant on purpose so SHE wont go anywhere. That way he (in his mind) believes he can have his wife and will always have the OW in his life. It works both ways IMHO.


JFYI......I know a guy that has been married and has had multiple affairs.....he has gotten at least 5-6 women pregnant.....true the women had just as much to do with it, but this guy KNEW what he was doing. He could have worn protection, but decided to plant his seed in the OW. This is an extreme example, but things like this do happen.

"Dont some of yall think the man might know she isnt totally honest, and he doesnt care if she get pregnant?"

Affair partners don't lie to EACH OTHER! Just everyone else. How can you lie to your "soul mate"?

LOL.......I hope you were joking. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Big joke!!!

Do I think that OW get pregnant on purpose? Darn right I do! I found out for sure that my bf of 14 years was cheating on me last August. I was trying to get the girls name and everything before I confronted him so I had my SIL call her to try to get her name. Anyway--my SIL ended up calling her one day and left her a screaming voicemail that said, "You f---ing b----. You can't get your own man you have to go after someone elses?!" And I guess there was more, but I don't know everything that SIL said. Anyway--my plan A--(didn't know it was plan A at the time, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ) was working and my bf broke up with the girl--he did not know that I knew about the tr-mp yet--anyway--she ended up calling him at the beginning of October telling him that she was pregnant--you know--she would have gotten pregnant just one month after my SIL called her. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Coincidence? I think not. She had been with him for 2 years and she had so many physical problems that it would be virtually impossible for her to get pregnant unless she was planning it. (I didn't know about my SIL's phone call until December. I have to admit that it made me feel all warm and squishy inside. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> )

She ended up losing that baby. But my bf and her had met approximately 11 years ago when we had broken up for 6 weeks so NOW she's trying to tell him that her older kid is his. This was after he gave her back her keys and stuff. Now, if this was true--does anyone else think that she would have used this to get him when she was pregnant with the baby? I heard the voicemail that she left him saying she was so sorry that she hadn't told him all these years but (insert child's name) is his. Which means that she would have known the whole time they were together again and just didn't tell him. Sorry but I believe it's just another excuse for her to keep him (my bf) in her life.

Give me a break though! From what I've heard--that kid looks EXACTLY like the guy who is named on his birth certificate as his father. I personally think she's a disgusting person for using her child in such a way.

Well, have a good night everyone.

It just struck me about 6 months ago that the timing of the OW's pregnancy might have been related to fear of losing my exWS.

It was bad enough to find out about the affair and pregnancy. Then when I started thinking about the conception date I was really upset. It had to be around the time (week before or after) my exWS and I travel north to his brother's house to see the Fall colors. It was a yearly, special time spent together. It sickened me to think that they had been having sex right around then. No more being in denial.

When I brought up the timing to my exWS he was quick to deny the timeframe.....so....obviously he recognized the special attachment "we" had to that time away together. I told him "Biology doesn't lie. Unlike cheating husbands and OW"

Well, I let go of anymore significance about the thought at that time. Then out of the blue it struck me....In another discussion with my exWS about reconciliation he said he was trying to break things off with the other woman, knowing it was wrong and had to stop. (Ya think?) Then I remembered one marital counseling session where my exWS blew up at me for not backing down in session and holding him accountable for his time and location. He yelled "I don't need your BS!. I don't need this!" In spite of everything, I was shocked at the intensity of his response. We'd been in marriage counseling for about 6 months at the time, and it hadn't ever happened before.

Well, this is the little scenario that came together in my mind recently. (Of course I'll never know the truth)

ExWS is trying to break it off with the OW, or maybe he wasn't, but she found out we were going on our annual Fall trip together. We were still married, living together, and I didn't know about the affair then. Get pissed or feel threatened??? Hmmmmm...pregnancy might help close the deal.

The OW knew my exWS well enough to know that he was always very actively involved with his children and mine. It would be highly unlikely he'd abandon any child of his. (Of course the OW was only 1 year older than my exWS's oldest "child"!! Yuck!) She was right....boy was she ever right! And my exWS knew his OW was totally incompetent about most things in adult living.....especially parenting....especially parenting a special needs child. (Their son was born with Down's Syndrome). Not that the OW had any control over the birth defect, but it did have a major impact when my exWS and I were discussing possible reconciliation.

The outburst at marital counseling?? Well, I have no proof but..... As I looked back on the timeframe of conception, the OW would have been just into her 4th month of pregnancy at the time my exWS got so angry at me in our session..... Too late to consider abortion as a choice. And yes, whether you personally agree with it or not, my exWS and I are Pro-Choice. Don't know if the OW knew that or not. I now think that my exWS may have just found out the joyeous news about the pregnancy.

My exWS led me on for along time about reconciliation. I met and spent time with the OC from 6 months old on. I loved him and was willing to have him as a part of our life as a couple. (Although I doubt I could have dealt with all the crap the OW would have put out....constantly) I'll never know how much of what he said or didn't say was accurate. I do know that at no point in time did he ever say he loved her or was in love with her. He also denied it when I asked him directly.

We've been divorced for 4 years now. I had filed for divorce shortly after finding out about the affair. We'd already been in MC for 8 months. I hadn't found MB site at that time. My exWS, the OW, and their OC have lived together for those 4 years. Not married...yet. I wish to gosh I could just never think about him or the OW or the sweet innocent OC I got to know, ever again! But I do. And it still burns me that that self-centered, immature little bit#% pulled it off. And my exWS fell for it. And I hung in as long as I did. And a totally innocent OC will have to live with consequences he had no say in. It probably is for the best that my exWS is actively parenting the OC. We shared no children together. And their little guy needs and deserves all the love and attention he can get.

Looking for advice,

I just found out that H got OW pregnant. He's still with her and said that he's happy and excited about this. His family isn't handling it very well. He's trying to keep it quiet, so does that must mean he feels remorse?

How did you handle your situation? I feel really helpless and of course betrayed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

notkimmiez, I am not familiar with your story. Can you give us a link to your story or a brief history?

Welcome notkimmiez,

Start a new thread and tell us about yourself....catch a breath....and don't fret...you are not alone, there are many men and women here that can be of help...thinking of you...

Don't forget to start a new thread....

Take care....

most very probably!!!! SLUT!

OW (babalu) is a single mom and a nursing student. She knows how babies are made! YUCK! and she got pg less than a month into their adulterous affair.

get pregnant on purpose?! YOU BETCHA!

- aka R828