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Some women are just born stupid. My xH's OW only dates married men. She has made a profession out of it and amazingly enough she gets pregnant by everyone of them. Somehow she had not figured out that they don't stay because of a kid, but relentlessly she keeps trying anyway. I mean my H walked out on me with 2 kids and I was pregnant. What made her think he would stay for a kid when he left 3 he already had. DUH! My xH and I have since reconsiled and are trying to work things out. I have forgiven him for his stupidity, but she is now working on married man number 4. Some people never learn.


"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10 Faith isn't believing God can, its knowing that he will. BS(me)-26 FWH-26 Married-October 2000 DDay-September 2005 Divorced-October 2006 Remarried-August 2007 DD-6 DD-3 DD-2 OC-1 In Recovery!
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I read this on a whim.. and have no clue about any of this as I've not been in the situation.

I did want to comment that my hubby and I have two living children. Both were conceived while on birth control (one with the pill, one with the depo provera shot)

We got pregnant in 2005 AFTER my tubes had been tied but the baby died.

It is VERY possible to get pregnant even being very careful. Some women are more fertile (myself included), I see a fertility specialist for this very reason.

Just wanted to share that.. since some think it must be impossible. Its not!


Me - 26 & Hubby - 27
In Love since 10/99
Married 6/01' - love our 2 sons ages 4 & 6
Problem: Communicating & Making Time for Our Marriage.
Status: Started Recovery June 11, 2007 -Our marriage is happier & stronger then ever - It's been a year and we are SUCCESSFUL!

Completely head over heels in love with my romantic hubby
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My husband thinks so, and I believe so on a semi aware level she did. She already had one child who she said she conceived from a rape ( much we do not believe at all ).

It was a case of the rubber breaking, but my H said that she said she knew she was preganant right than and there.

She also really wanted his child, once she was preganant and they had sex only twice before it happenned.

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Yes, That's my opinion...! The ow is a lesbian....my husband and her became friends...she knew that he was not happy in the marriage and we were having problems (that i was unaware of)...She told him she and her partner, that she is no longer with, wanted to have a baby and had considered a donor. She told him that she would like the baby's father to be someone just like him (i'm sure that it made him feel wanted since he didn't think that I cared anymore). He slept with her 2 times about a month apart both times they had been drinking quite a bit. She became pregnant and after that they decided that they needed to stop what they were doing..(unclear who decided) My husband says he stopped because i did not deserve what he was doing to me. I think she got just what she wanted, she used him to get it, but she kept him as a close friend so he would not see that. I have told him how i feel and i think he may be starting to see the light...I hope.


me 42
h 41
married 1985
com 20, 18, 16, 8
d-day 2 aug 07
oc dob 16 sep 06

Last edited by tarita; 08/14/07 11:22 AM.
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wow, I'm glad there is a forum for this...

I recently learned the OW is pregnant...but the way my husband and the OW told me was pretty low and very childish. Someone mentioned their XH told her that so she would be mad enough to file for divorce..could my husband's goal be making me mad enough to file first?

Please read my thread...

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Quote:

Yes, That's my opinion...! The ow is a lesbian....my husband and her became friends...she knew that he was not happy in the marriage and we were having problems (that i was unaware of)...She told him she and her partner, that she is no longer with, wanted to have a baby and had considered a donor. She told him that she would like the baby's father to be someone just like him (i'm sure that it made him feel wanted since he didn't think that I cared anymore). He slept with her 2 times about a month apart both times they had been drinking quite a bit. She became pregnant and after that they decided that they needed to stop what they were doing..(unclear who decided) My husband says he stopped because i did not deserve what he was doing to me. I think she got just what she wanted, she used him to get it, but she kept him as a close friend so he would not see that. I have told him how i feel and i think he may be starting to see the light...I hope.








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Last edited by JustUss; 02/07/08 06:51 PM.
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This is my first post. I don't know if there will be any response since the original seems to be quite old. But I'm hoping it is a good place to start.

It was seven years ago. My H, then fiance, had only known her about 3 weeks, slept together on their first 'date'. She was 31, married to a man 51, who had a vasectomy and two grown children, and clearly stated he did not want any more. She had one daughter, about 11, and wanted more, at any cost. Husband continued to refuse, so she took her husbands paycheck, rented a smelly $300 apartment, and put out her shingle. She was quite the party girl I guess. I had to be out of town for two weeks, and had also been moved to night shift for a period of two months. She was quite the hotty in a very small town, big blonde '80s hairdo kind of way, and she got a lot of business. Her husband at the time, (her husband #2), kept record of the Ford pickup trucks, (and one Chevy) that were parked outside the apartment at any given time. He recorded license plate numbers, makes, models, dates, times etc. He was really not happy with the situation. So my now H's license plate appeared on the list, with 10 others. Another guy, the one we believe was her first and foremost primary target, lived within walking distance.

So the first time they sleep together, it is November 5th. As far as I know, the last time was November 28th, according to her xH's record keeping.

On Dec 15th, she tells him she is PG, and that he needs to marry her, and pay for a divorce from her husband. She didn't know about me yet. They both claim different things about that conversation. She says he asked her to marry him. Then offered to pay her $1000 to have an abortion. He says, he simply asked her to have an abortion, and that he was responding to her talk of marriage. He had only known her a few weeks. She had never even met his family. He comes from a very upright and conservative family. The kind of family that always 'does the right thing' and are very well-respected. This little affair was a great shame for them, especially since she was married. We are talking very small town atmosphere here.

He tells me about 5 days later.

She claims it happened when the condom slipped on November 19. I know my man, and it is easy to read when he is lying. I don't fully believe there was a condom. But I know he does not believe in pregnancy before marriage.
Anyway....I am getting offtrack, the baby was born September 5th, and by my calculations, that would make it 5 1/2 weeks overdue. Maybe they slept together later than he would tell me, since I had confronted him about his behavior by the first of December, and demanded better treatment for myself. I didn't have any intuition that he was still straying.

I am pretty sure that doctors don't let you go over 2 weeks overdue without inducing. She was induced. But if she were two weeks overdue, that would put the conception date at about Dec 12-13th or so. Even if the sperm can live in the body for up to 4 days before impregnating the egg, that would still be the 8th at the earliest. It would have been difficult but not impossible to get a positive PG test, (home test, and nobody saw except her).

She told me later, when I called her to let her know I existed, because he wouldn't, that he had begun acting weird and not calling towards the end of November, but he did stay the weekend after Thanksgiving with her. (I was out of town with family). He told me that he had begun to have suspicions that she was cheating on him, (funny how that works).

I have asked and begged for a DNA test for years, but she refuses. H is just ashamed to ever have known her, to have done what he did. He is also afraid it might be his. We agreed within 24 hours of him telling me about the pregnancy that we would have no contact with mother or child. The OW was livid.

Her ex H told me he does not believe she has a clue who the real father is. He says she picked my H because he lived out of town, (the town she was in was about 200 people population) and made good money, had a job, house, and insurance. I know that's not much, but in very small towns, for people with very small minds, and little to no gumption, that can seem like the lotto. She was never even able to get her GED. Couldn't handle the course load. Her exH said she just wanted a baby at any cost to anyone else. He said she had tried to use the baby ploy at least 3 times that he was aware of, even with him. They began sleeping together immediately when they met, and she claimed to be pregnant. He then told her he'd had a vasectomy. She quickly had a 'miscarriage'.

When she became PG in the time frame of sleeping with my now husband, she wanted her husband at the time to raise it as his own, but after the baby was born, she continued to cheat on him. When the baby was 10 months she took the tax return, moved out, and started very actively dating. She remarried within a year, under pretenses of a pregnancy, I was told, and then, of all things, moved to my town. I see her everywhere now.

So, although I was not there with them, although I do not know what was in her mind at that time, I can look at the facts of the matter, and views of other people close to the situation, and surmise, that yes she did get PG on purpose, and with no thought or care to the men involved.

Guess that was long for my first post. Obviously I have issues if I am still this upset 7 years later. I Have an older child myself, and H and I have 2 of our own. The first of which is 6 months younger than OC.

Does anyone have any feedback. I am looking for ways to heal, to get past this. I have too many emotions. Still. One of my greatest worries, is that my kids will end up playing soccer with her kids, or something of the sort. I don't want my children exposed to that type of thinking/lifestyle.

Swt sub

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 Quote:
I don't want my children exposed to that type of thinking/lifestyle.


I know this is a sad way to look at it, but because your husband (then fiance) did what he did, they have already been exposed to it.

All the betrayed and wayward can do, if they choose to, is damage control.

I'm so sorry. Have you read any of this site beyond this board?

Last edited by Dealan-de; 05/06/08 08:32 AM. Reason: grammer

I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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I've read a bit, know I need to read more. Probably start with the book? I have five weeks left of school, though, and am putting off any new projects to make sure I get through school first. I felt bad for posting anything when I haven't done the homework. Sorry, I just wanted to get started.

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No worries. I began posting when I didn't truly understand what the site was about, too....way back when dinosaurs roamed the planet.

Read when you can. It is understood that you have a real life out in the world that has to be taken care of.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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Hello-

I just found out two days ago that OW is pregnant with my WH's baby, she is 6 months pregnant. I have so many questions that run through my head, and if anyone has answers, plese help!

*Why would the OW not let me know that she is pregnant? I confronted her (but not in a mean tone and she denied it, it was at the end of our conversation that she admited it was my WH's.)

*Why does he still want to go places with me? Hang out with me? Want me around his life? I want to move on and I've done a pretty good job in the last year. Apparently he sure has moved on!

any advise is greatly appreciated!

Thanks,

Calibabeus


BS(ME)25 WH-29 M-July 2004 D-Day April 15, 2007 DS-10months Things happen for a reason, the hard part is know what the reason is
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Cali, maybe your husband wants a plural marriage? You know...he wants both of you as wives. You two could live in the same house and both please him. Like on that show :"Big Love". Have you asked him why he still wants to speak with you when she's pregnant?

Ask him if he wishes for a "Plural Marriage" or something.

What does he want from you, I would want to know.

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Cake eater.

Geting his ego stroked big time by string along 2 women at the same time.

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The Road has a really good point here. If you give your ex ANY response at all, he will eat it up since he loves his ego stroked by both women!

If it were me I would not respond to the ex except if you have to e-mail him about child issues. Or have a third party deal with him about the child issues.

I would not let him have a moment of ego strokes from me after what he did. Give him NOTHING, mentally, physically, emotionally. He took enough, he can go to HIS new woman for any support he needs, he does not need to be coming to you. Put a stop to him coming to you in any way.

I think if he says he still loves you, tell him he is nutz. If he says he still wants to be with you tell him he is nutz, just keep saying "you are nutz". Repeat that and nothing else.


Last edited by Stellakat; 06/08/08 02:17 PM.
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My Hs OW admitted to getting pregnant on purpose! The OC may or may not be his, she refuses DNA testing. Hmmmm Wonder why?! I know for a fact that she sleeps around. She claims that this OC is his also claims her second C is his also. My H has told me that the OW told him that she chose HIM out of all the men she was watching to have children with, she admired him most of all . My H has hired an attorney so that DNA testing can hopefully proceed. I am praying that the C are not his. My H also told me that the OW expected him to leave me when she had C and that when he did not she was furious. Guess her true colors showed through. The OW also told coworkers (YES! We worked at the same location, her and I ) that my H stated over and over again that he loved me and would NEVER leave me. Well wasn't she the smart one to keep trying \:D . Am I crushed by all of this? You bet I am. I'm taking day by day and dealing with it the best I can. Glad I found this site. It sure has helped me.

Last edited by carrieb; 06/10/08 01:51 PM.
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Cynthia29,

I haven't been on this site in a long time. Let me give you a short background. H had an A. OW has OC. We have NC neither does H's family. We actually moved back to our home state to get away from AW. All she ever talks about is money. OC is 17mo. H finally got CS finalized in Nov.07. Now she wants more so she can go to graduate school. She quit work. How does a woman who is 39 with 3 kids from 2 other guys get PG once again??? This also was a very short A only about a month. It ended (by my H) before she found out she was PG and then turned a bit "fatal attraction". She emails us constantly about $$$. OW is also pysco at times in her emails. Constantly referring to the "night of conseption" now tell me it wasn't planned. My H is 110% at fault and knows it we have been working on it for over 2 years and it is difficult. Oh and she also is obsessed with "public recongniton" not sure why or where she is going with that. She even created a myspace page for OC. She is a sick person. There is so much more I could write about but it would take all day.

Anyway, it sounds like our situations are similiar. How are you coping? I have set backs almost daily. I try for our C's sake. I love H but not back inlove with H but I am trying.

OOh I feel a bit better to back on this site.

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