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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 39
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 39 |
I just found out last night that my wife wants a divorce. This is the second time we have been through this. I do not want to go through it again. How do I get over her? She was my first girlfriend, my first kiss and my first wife. How do I deal with this loss? none of the other boards here seem to have enough traffic to get me anywhere. I need to move on but I have no clue as to how I will do this. I wish we could have been saved but alas alcohol and parties won out over me. I no longer have the strength to carry on with us but she never did. Please somebody- anybody if you read this help me. I cannot help but beg now because I have so little energy left. help me please?
D-Day Has come and gone. A year later I want out of my shell!!
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 219
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 219 |
If you are convinced that divorce is inevitable, get a lawyer, and listen to what he/she says.
If you are not convinced, start by reading the articles on how to implement Plan A.
Regards,
rs0522
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140 |
Can you explain a little more about why your wife wants a divorce? This is an infidelity board - was infidelity involved? We can help you more if we know more.
Mulan
Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 39
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 39 |
There were a few Affairs on her part but they are over. She wants the divorce because she feels that I will never be able to trust her again. She refuses to follow any of the guidelines on this site or any advice from anyone that may dertact from her freedom. She absolutely thinks that I should just trust her automatically. She does not want to prove to me that she can be trusted. I cannot open myself up to someone who has hurt me like that before without some type of proof of honesty. She is just desperate to run away and this time I don't think any plan b can turn her around. Last time it worked well but she would not take the needed steps to build trust. I have to go to work again so I will check in later
D-Day Has come and gone. A year later I want out of my shell!!
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
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My wife and I have been having trouble in the past year. She has had multiple affairs and we have been trying to work things out. She never came home last night and when I did call her this morning I went off and let my taker get the best of me. I want to fix this but She has to go tho work and I will not see her all day. Could flowres and a note help or am I totally in the dog house. One last thing I used to be "confuzedinwv" but for some reason I could not get that account fixed. Please help I am so sorry for going off on her and I really want to make this better but I no longer have any clue how to do that. SAVE ME!! you wrote this 4 days ago on another forum.... so she stayed out all night? why? Pep
Last edited by Pepperband; 06/28/06 02:38 PM.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 39
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 39 |
Well she was drunk at a beer fesival with her sisters. She told me that she did not want to tell me about it before because I would have been mad and told her not to go. I may have been concerned (SHE had the affairs) but I would have given her the option of going as long as she called me for a ride when it was over. Instead of being open she just kept quiet and finally told me afterwords. But I doubt anything matters anymore because she has a lawyer and I will be getting one soon if nothing changes.
D-Day Has come and gone. A year later I want out of my shell!!
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
she does not seem to be mature enough to be anyone's wife....
sorry
Pep
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 39
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 39 |
I think that you are correct. I am so sorry I had to make the mistake of getting involved with her. I guess that I can use this as an opportunity to dicover more about myself. I have already made some very interesting discoveries so who knows? I just need to send her to this site and hope she learns enough to not ruin anoth man's life. As for me I really think it is over....finally <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
D-Day Has come and gone. A year later I want out of my shell!!
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 428
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 428 |
I doubt sending her to this site will do anything to her. Someone who has had multiple affairs, like your wife, and behaves like you describe, will see no fault in themselves for what she has done.
You've been down for a long time. Probably years, due to her behaviour and lack or remorse. Believe me when I tell you that your self esteem and happiness will only increase exponentially if you finally break free from this mess.
Good luck.
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 982
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 982 |
Are there children involved? Do get a lawyer.
Lake
BW-53
FWH-54
H had EA 3 weeks 06
Married 1977
N C 4-10-06
3 DSs
In Recovery
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 39
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 39 |
Fortunately there are no children involved. I can't believe that for a while she wanted to have one (during the last year no less). I wonder if she did not know she was leaving me again before she even came back. Thanks all I guess I will just have to hang on day by day.
D-Day Has come and gone. A year later I want out of my shell!!
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