I have a friend whose husband's fantasy is for her to have sex with another man in his presence. He wants her to dress in provocative clothes, high heels, (she did agree to have breast implants)flirt with other men, go to strip clubs with him. He wants to "swing". She on the other hand is a good Christian woman, stunningly beautiful. She has tried to satisfy his needs over the years and I admire her for her willingness to try to make it work. But she has drawn the line on the swinging thing...so now he's all ticked off and telling her she was never very good at the sex thing anyway. What a winner this guy is!! His wife is the kindest, most beautiful, giving, intelligent woman that I know and he's an absolute idiot....

Yowch!

I would suggest a counselor ASAP and some SERIOUS discussions.

Not sure if this marriage will work if he doesn't change his thinking.

Personally, i am not sure how anyone can do the swinging thing, just the THOUGHT of another man being intimate with my wife makes me PUKE!

hoppels,

I just responded to you on your thread over in GQII.

This woman's marriage is not your business!! You are having and EA with her.

She is willingly in the marriage and as an adult is choosing to stay there.

She should not be confiding these types of persoanl information to you.

She is your WIFES good friend. You are a married man and have no place as her confidant when it comes to her marriage.

Please protect yourself, your wife and your marriage.

If your friend needs someone to confide in she needs to find a female friend.

You are in much to much of a dangerous place right now to be focusing on her when your marriage is in danger from your EA with this woman.

Look in the mirror as to your own christian character and husbandly actions in continuing to conduct an EA before worrying about your EA partner and her husband.

I'm praying for you.

FIM

Hoppels...you are in an affair with this woman...it benefits you to see him as an [censored] as you said...all him...

I can tell you from experience, backing faithinme and others, she has her part...she chose the breast implants...she choosing every step of her life...

And she's choosing to get her ENs met by you, conversation, openness and honesty, instead of her H.

She chooses to portray her life through her filter...that she is being done to...not doing. And she is doing. Truth is we cannot control another human being on the planet...that's our human limits.

She has a payoff in talking about her circumstances and not changing them...in building her resentment...in wanting a clean slate to start over on...and so do you.

Every moment, each post you spend on your affair partner (AP) instead of on yourself, is another way of tearing down your marriage, your life...and I've been on that road...what you believe you see in her, you've made up in your head...she's a human...and your wife is no more a controlling jerk than you choose to see her as...

Your choices. As a human, you choose what you believe, perceive, think and you choose your perspective.

You are choosing poison...swallowing it whole.

We are asking you to choose differently.

LA

So, is there more to your story? Are you being honest about what is going on?

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post2907609

Just a heads-up for those responding: This poster has several threads... and they are intertwined.

In this thread he is asking for help for his co-worker and in another he says he's in an emotional affair with the co-worker... and another thread is about his wife not meeting his needs and includes a link(referenced in the thread I've included below) that goes to his first post, which says that he's had an internet physical affair and threesomes.

I find it confusing and difficult to give advice when we don't have the whole story.

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