Rach...by posting here, you are finding yourself. You are doing self-care...you are meeting your own needs, being brave and honest.
Can you not apologize for doing what I believe is healthy and loving for yourself?
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Did you know you aren't weird or abnormal? You were a child, a girl, a young woman...you were you...and you became a wife, a mother...when we choose to become these roles, we can choose to add them to ourselves or become them, instead of us...all the way.
To find yourself within is knowing you are not what you do, you are who you really are...all along. The lovely part of being human is you take yourself with you...and the curse, if you want to run away.
If you continue to choose to believe you have no choice, that the only way to change your life is to change your role, then you'll be changing roles for the rest of it, don't you think?
Finding who you are within your roles would be a fulfilling and fine place to be...was for me...first, I had to stop running.
You feel like you're living everyone else's life...would you consider you live through others? Giving to get back?
Can you see where you have inherent choice...in what you give, receive...what you perceive, your perspective, thoughts and beliefs? All yours...inalienable. Just yours. Valid. Real. Look to the choices you are making...find out if you're busy earning love and happiness, or choosing to love...
Seems like getting out would be redefining yourself, doesn't it? You get out and see other people who tell you who you are, only in a nicer fashion, then how your family does...can you see the cycle? Others are still who you go through to know yourself...getting out just makes them different.
Going in would be the route I'd advise. Being lost is a state of mind...you're right there...all along...and I believe, your Self misses you...because you are looking at everyone else but you.
Know your power, Rach...you choose whether you believe you do or not...even when you don't believe you choose, you're choosing not to believe...you're a marvelously created, whole and complete human being, Rach.
Those are facts of being human.
LA
