Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 15
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 15 |
Post deleted by Rosemary53
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,808 |
This could be withdrawal. It could be continued contact.
How does he know this OW?
Does she work with him?
What kind of forum is it that she visits?
Maybe we can help you figure this out.
Do you know her address? If so, a reverse look up could help you with her last name and help you find her exh.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906 |
this is a boundary moment...
tell him....
I will not just move this past...
I can not just move past this....
what I want is much much more that ...
I want us to lovingly recover from this...
I want you and I to learn how to turn towards eachother...
always...
so that never again will you feel like turning to an outside party...
ever...
you and I are better than that..hurting one another...
boundary time..
NO DEAL
to just moving past...
just moving past is equal to worse than being divorced..
ARK
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 15
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 15 |
Post deleted by Rosemary53
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 982
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 982 |
I am a BS. You can't just get over it just like I can't. That said, is there anything you have planned with him for the weekend? Have you asked him what he wants to do for the weekend? I know my FWH is always happy and relieved when I am on the "good" part of the roller coaster and we make the most of it. What could you do for the weekend?--bubble bath? ask him for a massage, give him a massage--got any oil? These are just suggestions from a BW who has been where you are now--take them for what they are worth.
Have fun with your H.
Lake
BW-53
FWH-54
H had EA 3 weeks 06
Married 1977
N C 4-10-06
3 DSs
In Recovery
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,693
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,693 |
"How can he expect me to just get over it??"
People can expect anything they want they just don't necessarily get it.
Sounds like an unfair expectation.
Read what Ark wrote.
Very Powerful.
I am actually going to say it to MY FWW.
Because for 3 years she has expected me to get over it and guess what. I am not.
One more thing.
There is a statistic that says
80% of M's survive an A if there is a lot of open communication and discussions about the A.
50% survive if it is discussed very little.
I told my FWW before I read ARk's words that If I have to bet on our M. I want there to be an 80% chance not a 50% chance. Safer bet if you ask me.
BS 38
FWW 35
D Day 10/03
Recovery started 11/06
3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby
When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
280
guests, and
75
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,525
Members72,047
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
