After youve found out confronted her shes still seeing OM

before you plan B and do the brutail things of cutting her off.

If she continues to see the OM after you confronted her then it is time immediately for plan B. She is giving you the message loud and clear that she does not care that you know that she is sleeping with another man and she continues with the affair regardless of the pain she is inflicting on you. No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. Why would a wife respect a husband who knowingly accepts his wife continuing to have sex with another man without consequences to her actions? If the roles were reversed, would she accept such disrespect and humiliation from you?

Thats what I thought.
Unfortunately logistics wont allow immediate. Will happen in the next day or two.
One last loving confrontation. Then thats it. I’m getting the mutual friend onboard tomorrow and letting both sets of rents in on the pursuing fireworks.


Married 16 Y
Children 7 15-2.5 y/o

Thanks for the reply

Am I reading this right....7 kids and you intend to go to Plan B in a day or two...are you nuts Bryanp recommending this to a newbie on the Marriage Builders Website.

1of9, if you come back here post this same question over on Infidelity - General Questions II. It is the most active board and many more will see it and give you actual tried and tested, professionally approved Marriage Builders advice.

IF YOU VALUE YOUR MARRIAGE DO NOT GO TO PLAN B IMMEDIATELY as YOU JUST MAY LOSE YOUR FAMILY COMPLETELY. I agree, Plan B MAY work...but we need more facts than those presented to assist you in making such determination. Plan B works soooo much better if preceeded by an effective Plan A.

Please, for your kids sake at least give it a month. Do not make rash decisions based upon emotion. You took vows to this woman, the mother of your children, to stand by her in sickness and in health. Don't your vows matter to you. Don't react to her betrayal, be the husband and father YOU committed to being and fight for your marriage and family. You'll forever regret not doing otherwise.

Read Longhorn's thread pinned to the top of this board completely. Read all the stuff posted on the main forum written by Dr. Harley. Make an informed rational decision before you simply REACT to your wayward wife.

I really hope you come back and I see you over on GQII real soon.

Good luck,
Mr. Wondering

p.s.-Bryan...I know you're still upset about what your wife did to you some 20 years ago...but come on, see the sign on the door..."Marriage Builders", misery can't love company so bad as to misinform a newbie with 7 children ages 2.5 to 15 years old. 1of9 hasn't even the faintest clue how to pull off an effective Plan B in a day or two. He should at least read some Dobson, "Love Must Be Tough" or something AS WELL AS being advised to protect his legal interests by doing the right things to ensure he's not stuck with a lifetime of being a part-time father as well as ENORMOUS child-support payments to his wayward wife. DO NOT MOVE OUT and surrender custody of your kids, document everything, etc., etc., etc.

its 7am and my wife is still not home. Shes almost doing total separation herself.

I'm going to retell my story in GQII.

I'm still going to start exposure today, I think I could use the ear to bend and get some personal support on my next step.

Thanks

R U still reading. Post now, it will get slow this holiday weekend so prepared to be patient even over on GQII.

ACT, Don't REACT.

Mr. W

Im still reading. Lots of helpfull information.

I have a much better grasp on what needs to be done now and over the next 4-6 months and for the rest of my marriage which should be decades.

Thank you for helping me get over this initial shook of it all and keeping me here and reading and learning.

Im getting His Needs Her Needs later today. The book store I went to yesterday didnt have it. the one near home does.

I just finished SAA but once im done with HNHN im going to have to re-read.

thanks again.