This is Mike K(I'll delete name soon),

OM made contact with WW yesterday, we had it out and I told her no more I need time to think bullshlt. I needed to know if she wanted a divorce or not, she wouldnt answer except to say she thought we made great friends but didnt think we could ever fix the marriage.

We had it out again this morning and then on the way to work she called me and asked about this site and the EN questionaire and also MC, Dont know what to think.

I'm sending her the link to this place and told her there's alot of good people here that can help her/us thru this and that there's help availiable if we look for it.

I'm reading the book SAA and I find it ironic that Greg and Sues story is so similar to ours and that everything Sue is doing is the same thing my WW is doing.

Smartcookie & Dorry, I'm hoping you two especially can help my WW

Thanks

OK

Pep

Got it.

Mail me if you ID her posting.

I'll delete this post later.

WAT

I sent the WW Dorry's "recovery guide for Wayward Wife's"

Well she blew a gasket and say's she's not going to submit to me and be a "stepford wife" Now she think this whole site is nothing but a site that makes women submit to their husbands and constant degrade them for having an affair.

She slung out insult after insult and I finnally just said, that I gues you and OM can finally have a wonderful life together and she cried and hung up on me.

I am ready to call an attorney and start the D, it's not what i want, but she refuses to accept the harm she has caused and downplays it at every turn.

Everything I have done is way worse. I cant take it any longer.....Nothing matters anymore....

patience...every WW when they aren't ready acts like that. She's not ready for recovery.

SO WHAT'S your plan until she is?

patience...every WW when they aren't ready acts like that. She's not ready for recovery.

SO WHAT'S your plan until she is?


perfection dorry..
perfectly phrased
perfect question to ask the BS...

I'll just sit back and wait for a reply...

ARK

I dont have a plan..... i cant take it anymore....She wont give up the OM, and it hurts so bad, my only plan is to call my lawyer to be honest with you. I've already called and left a message for him to call me back.
Life really sucks right now

Okay

Even if you are calling your lawyer...what's your plan?

from his sig line



this makes a big difference in my mind

.... may be a lifestyle choice in this case, and not a one time error in judgement

you still need a plan

Pep

Even going for plan D is still a plan.

If he's decided he's had enough and can't take any more, then taking action to end the insanity and cut loose the source of pain and misery is a plan.

It sounds to me as though his wife could use the 'wake up call' to realize that she can't continue to treat him like doodoo and expect him to sit there and gracefully take it. Perhaps realizing that she really WILL lose him might wake her up. And if it doesn't, he's still moving towards his OWN recovery.

Got the boy back from vacation Friday evening, So we didnt speak all weekend about us.... Big surprise there, she avoids it like the plague.

What gets me is that we'll be sitting on the couch or playing poker or something and she'll want me to rub her feet or give her back massages which I do without a blink of an eye, and usually I dont even get a thank you, or if I do, It's because later I say something like how that feel or something like that.

Lawyer is on vacation so nothing going on in that front. I really dont know what to do at this point.

indecision and non-planning is a choice you make

just don't complain that nothing has changed

Pep

You know someone who is stuck in the affair takes some time to withdraw. And it takes the right people talking to the person to help them pull away from the affair partner. Patience is something that is needed.

I know Pep, I'm doing alot of feeling sorry for myself it seems. And I do appreciate your taking the time to follow my story. it's just very hard on me, and I do feel like I'm following a good plan A, working out has helped alot, but knowing she's still in contact hurts.

He calls her out of the blue after 3 weeks and boom I think she's ready to pick right back up where she left off. Even though it's obvious he's just making a booty call.

Thanks Askme,

Unfortunately there doesnt seem to be anyone telling her shes doing wrong but me. You are right patience is needed, It's just tough to have patience with somebody who doesnt seem to think they are doing anything wrong.

You know it's the thrill versus regular life. And when you face her on the affair, it can become the dance that is nothing more than a battle of words that go back and forth like a choreographed danced. Choose carefully the things you say to draw her back. I'm going to paraphrase the words of James in the Bible a bit, but the tongue is a small flame that has the capability of burning down an entire forest if not used wisely.

Dobson's 'Love Must Be Tough' may be a help for you at this point. An over 2 yr A may seem a long time but sometimes it can take that long to run it's course.

If you get tough, firm...but still calm and caring..she may wake up and realize that she may just lose you this time. I don't know if you really need to file yet. Have you already had separation(s) and a plan B? If not, it may be time to let OM meet all her needs.

Thanks Trix..

We've been seperated 3 times over the course of our 17 year marriage. She'd never been with anyone else that i know of during those times, we always got back together, It was me that basically begged to get back together.

Wide words Askme, Right now my tounge is like a flame thrower I feel.

Wife sent OM an e-mail today saying she needed a man and he was the man she wanted..... The best part is that OM and I have been in E-mail contact since Friday and he sent me her e-mail that she sent him today to me today.

I made one last ditch effort to rescue the wife from the fog and the aliens and all she can do is say "I dont know what I want"

I have done as good a plan A as I can manage but Its difficult when WW keeps lying to me and continues to have contact.

WW and I argued/talked all night last night.