Briefly here's my story....my husband had at first an EA which then turned into a PA, which all together lasted six months. He told me about her in 5-06. He wants to work things out between us. We have a child. Fortunately, now we are many miles away from OW, thank God! However, he still texts her and occasionally calls. I check phone records and he knows I do. He is trying to break away and we are in plan A. I am being patient and trying to make sure he knows I love him more than words can say, because I truly do, however trusting him is very difficult. I want to believe what he tells me, but he has proven to be a very good liar. I can recall many instances over the course of the last six months when I trusted and then found out recently what was really happening at that particular moment in time. It's difficult to forget those moments.
He starts out the day before work in a decent mood and then by the time afternoon and evening rolls around he is distant and far away. When we speak on the phone he is too busy to give me much time or attention. I understand that he is busy with his job and stressed about finances, but he tends to be short with me, so I get off the phone. When I call, which I don't often, most of the time I have to leave a message. Today he called and said he would call me after lunch and would be coming home in a while, I expected an hour or so. When he didn't call I called to inquire. I replayed our last conversation and he said: "I must be getting anmesia, because I certainly don't remember saying that!" He was then irritated and wanted to get off the phone. Said he would call me later after he got some more work done. I hung up the phone dumbfounded, because I know what I heard him say. It's like he's trying to make me look like I'm nuts or something. Is this common? Makes me wonder if he talked with OW today and got in a melancholy mood. I think he may be using another phone so that I can't check his records. I asked him if he has another phone and he said no. I don't know if I believe him.
I'm sitting here trembling with anxiety. I really don't want to lose him. I love him so much. We've been married more than 20 years. I want to ask him if he is telling me the truth, but he gets defensive and loses his patience whenever I ask questions. Big red flag, wouldn't you agree? I guess I'll just wait a while longer to see what I find out by observation.
Any suggestions? He says he loves me and wants to stay married. We've had good days and made some progress and then some not so good days.
Thanks.
