after 26 yrs and 2 kids says she is going to the drug store and don't come back, moves out then i get the cell ph bill she's talking to this guy 5 times a day every day but says they aren't having sex! stays gone 3 months, then calls me up crying wanting to come back home, so i let her, while she is back she buys a new Mustang i get her out of a $6,000 credit card debt she ran up, then after i do that she leaves me again! i feel so used and hurt. but why after that long would she turn so EVIL?

atalose single choice

what was she thinking (0%, 0 Votes)

was she having sex? (100%, 2 Votes)

Total Votes: 2 Voting on this poll ends: 09/30/06 09:57 PM

[quote]if i would have been mean to her or abused her i could understand, but i treated her like gold, always tried to give her what she wanted, so now i guess she wants a divorce and i will give her that, but it hurts so much. i guess i was PW like some of my friends told me!

What if giving her a divorce is the last thing she wanted?

What if a lot of what you've given wasn't what she wanted at all...

What if you gave her truth, instead?

You've gotten in the way of a lot of her own consequences...like stealing from the rich and giving to the poor...feels good enough to you, with its payoff, so that you forget it is stealing?

Welcome General Questions II, AAL...

LA

she's the one that wanted the divorce ! i tried every thing i could to save it like going to counseling (by myself she went once)and if she didn't want the love and affection i was giving her and liked what the other guy was giving her then i'm fighting a losing battle, i always was truthful to her she the one that was cheating behind my back!

Did you hear me saying you weren't being honest with her?

I wasn't. I don't know. I was saying that you can give yourself permission to fight the divorce, to choose to say, "I do marriage. I don't do divorce." Not based on her response, only on your choice.

You say you're fighting a losing battle...how you see it. Does that mean you feel futile? Overwhelmed? Rejected to your core?

I know from having been wayward...my built up resentment and entitlement, with my immense lack of respect, blocked my H's love and affection...a state of mind did that. He didn't.

And I know from being betrayed, how much rejection, annihilation is involved...and I decided to look into that...probe and ponder it...finding myself, not allowing me to be erased by someone else...or replaced.

I had to do that within me...because no one can erase or replace me...until I got to that truth, I felt very much as you did...and I am asking you to choose for you, either way...if you want to divorce, I'm behind you. If you want to save your marriage, I'm there, too.

What I'm not behind is choosing your life by believing you are being forced into doing something you cannot be forced into...so you can either have a thriving marriage in two years, or be happy about who you are, alone.

You are not divorced yet, correct?

LA