mimi, no, it's not that I want him to pay. I just feel that with all that has gone down, he should be wooing me back into the relationship, not the other way around. I know. I keep reading, Plan A is hard, a heroic deed.

You're right. I think he DOES think that somewhere deep down lurks a spouse who wants to beat him up, that if he opens up and talks to me, I'll pounce on him. But it's like this ... I feel horror over what he has done. And it's not that I want to make him have GUILT over it. I JUST need to let him know how I'm feeling. I want very much to forgive him. My therapist says foregiveness is a PROCESS. Okay. So I'm working on it. I'm working very hard, I think. I just wish he would help me forgive him by showing a little tenderness every now and then. It's difficult to forgive someone when they seem to have a sort of subtle cockiness about them. With this attitude that he has, it makes me wonder if he DOES FEEL BAD.

But no, I don't want him to PAY ... I just want him to help me through this. I know. You told me before. He can't help me through this because he can't meet my EN's right now. It just seems almost to the point of Sainthood to try and meet someone's EN's when they have done something SOOO destructive ... and then they don't even seem to have the decency to want to meet YOUR needs.

UGGHHH!!! i hate this ...

RLT,

{{{hugz 2 U!}}}} <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


Please read the posts in the link below.
Good support info

It may give you the strength you need.

Btw, LBing? Don't feel guilty about it. Once you have identified your perosnal and M boundaries and your mind/heart are in sync..... well..... you will want to LB all the time. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Learn to reverse babble instead. Rocks the WS mind (or what's left of it). LOL!!

Time to stop crying and kick some WS butt! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

How come you can't just sit there..being there with him...enjoying the quiet..gaining a sense of peacefulness and calmness..no further need for panic in your life...

What would be the VALUE of TALKING right now?

Would talking RESOLVE anything?

ETA: Easy for ME to say though. In the real world, I'm a quiet person and like the quiet...My H is the talker....