My wife started working at the same company as me about 6 months ago, same location but differant shift/building. She works first shift, I work 2nd so we don't need much baby sitting. Anyway, She met and became friends with one of the supervisors in her department (no direct report or anything) They took their lunch together/breaks that type of thing. She would give him a ride home occasionally, but she was always upfront about it. I even took him home once, so everything seemed like it was just a friendship, and my wife has always had more guy friends than girl friends, so nothing odd here.

There were rumors in her department that they were sleeping together, but I never (still don't) supected they were. Anyway, this guy got fired about a month ago and they talked on the phone occasionally and emailed eachother. His GF got jelous and upset accusing them of having an affair. My wife talked to me about their friendship from time to time, so I still did not worry about it.

About at week ago I logged into the computer and found her email up with several emails from him, and some from his girlfriend. I felt bad, but I read them. The emails to him seemed innocent, talking about problems this guy and his girlfriend were having, and how she thought he and my wife were sleeping together. Then I read the email from his girlfriend to my wife and they said that my wife sent inapproporate emails to this guy. My wife responded saying they were joke's and she was overreacting. She said that I was arround when she wrote them to him...I was not.

I don't really know what to do. I talked to my wife about what she and these people email about and she was vague about it all, but no lies that I can find.
After talking to her, my wife was unusually nice to me...Iniateing sex twice that day, offering back rubs, that type of thing. ***This is VERY rare, but not the first time*

Anyway, I would appreciate any advice. I have a 15 day free trial for one of those spy software things, but I feel VERY bad about using it. I really don't think they are having a PA, but think it may be an EA. Any comments would be great.

Oh, also my wife has always said I could read her email anytime, but when I asked about it she never suggested I read them (which is what I expected).

Sorry it was so long, and sorry I don't know all the abbrivations yet.

One of the things that I learned from the MBs website is that snooping is OK. My situation is similar to yours. I came across text messages and telephone records with the same phone number. He dismissed it, saying she was just a friend. I still had my doubts and found he was posting on MySpace.com. He said it was because he was curious. I checked out emails from an address that he had kept secret and that's when the bomb dropped. What he had been lying about and dismissing for so long turned out to be true. I found pictures that he sent to her and emails that he sent to her. I could go on and on. Just know that your suspicions are valid. Read the information on the MBs website. Read the books that are recommended. Know that you are not alone. We are 3 months post-DDay and healing. Good luck to you.
SS

How do you think your wife would be feeling if the roles were reversed? How do you think she would be feeling if everybody at work thought you were sleeping with a fellow female worker? How do you think your wife would feel if you contantly went out to lunch and continued to send friendly emails to this female worker after she had gotten fired? How do you think your wife would feel if your female friend's boyfriend claimed you continued to have an affair with his wife and you were sending her inappropriate emails?

I am willing to bet that your wife would not put up with this crap and demand that you severe contact totally with this other woman. The fact that you have to work at a job where now everyone thinks your wife was having sex with a supervisor is totally humilating and disrespectful to you. The fact that she continues this friendship after all of this indicates that something may be indeed be going on. It again shows a lack of respect toward you and your marriage. This is simply unacceptable. It indicates that she does not care what you are feeling and putting this friendship with this man above your marriage. No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change.

my suggestion ( and it worked) is to google spybuddy and put it on the computer she uses. it is totally invisible and it will record any keystrokes she types in . now if she does this at work it may be a problem.
Mine I caught cheating and she lied to me for over an hour before I handed her the piece of paper I printed saying in graphic detail exactly what she had done. She said I cant believe this. My reply was neither can I. I never thought you were the liar and cheating type but I was totally wrong about you, walked out and havent looked back since.

Hi! I'm sorry that you are going through what you are but glad that you found marriage builders. You are right to have suspicions. I am in a similar situation but hopefully getting to the other end of it.
I suggest (as was suggested to me) that you read WATS quick start guide at the top of this board (Just found out) and some of the others there. You don't want to mention any more about your suspicions to your wife because if something is going on she will just go further under cover. Now is the time that you must gather as much info as possible, check her phone, text messages, calls, bank account. Keep a well hidden journal, and well detailed as you find info. Do the best snooping you can - note her behavioral changes, when and how often they happen.
Anyway - good luck - keep snooping and keep quiet. Remember that if something is going on, she won't tell you about it - you will have to go get the info. Take Care!