Hi to All the Wonderful MB Folks...

Question: Does the WS ever apologize sincerely when they leave or after they been gone?

It's like he doesn't even care or realize or acknowledge my pain and the damage he has caused. His mental health professional is soooo good it's like my WS has no guilt whatsoever...he behaves so incredibly entitled to his actions. He even will smile at me like..."I'm doing this and I'm proud...so there!"

Thanks
Strongest

Well, I think some WSs are sincerely sorry their actions caused such pain and suffering, even if they don't regret their actions. Plenty though take the approach of your H and glory in their triumph of dishonoring their marriage and nabbing a mistress, or the male equivalent.

And no, he doesn't really care about your suffering. The sad truth is when two people are divorced, even if it's only emotionally, they cannot fully empathize or sympathize with their spouse.

In my own experience and from reading here...very few do...

Agree 100% with Greengables.

Yes, Ruffled's ex-WH apologized, a few times in fact... but nevertheless, he is going to do what he wants to do, like it or not.

That's it. Typical selfishness.

I think it's easier that the BS do not seek closure or healing from a non-repentant WS. There'll be a lot of heartache waiting and wanting someone who doesn't or cannot care, to mend a broken heart.

I'm sorry for all that you have to go through. (((strongest)))

Some do yes, but even that doesn't always mean the BS will forgive or take them back.

Some BS's can be just as prideful, and ignore issues within themselves that also need to change, to make the marriage work. (not that the BS is in any way responsible for the choice of the WS having an affair, they made that choice all on their own).

My EX wife apologize to me on mothers day.........4yrs after our divorce and 2yrs after my re-marriage........she said "Im sorry I broke up our family, I wish I could turn back the hands of time to the way things were"


*rolls eyes*


I guess her affair didnt work out.

You can't apologize sincerely for anything unless you accept responsibility and regret your actions. A former WS may do this but a WS cannot.

Yep, I agree 100%. Mine didnt apologize till all the damage was complete and there was noone to blame but herself.

My WexH actually was glad I found out, and would I consider an open marriage? I don't know how I didn't shoot him.
I remember saying to him, this is NOT OK, what part of that don't you understand??
The only time he apologized, he said to me that he didn't realize how upset I would be, as I am sitting on the floor in tears... I was stunned. My only option was to leave him. I hear he is on the prowl again too, whoever gets him can have him, or kill him for me.

my ex is a complete whack job...
i did get a very weak "i'm sorry if i hurt you"
IF you hurt me? wtf?

i also got the he "only cares about himself, number one, and he doesn't care if people get hurt or stepped on in the process"

oh, and I got "i don't see who i have been hurting"

shall i go on??
if mine ever did apologize to me it would mean nothing to me anyway. too little too late. don't care anymore.
in my case, my ex could have cared less what he was doing. he did it because it was fun and exciting and made him feel like a god. he did it, bottom line, because it made HIM feel good... and that's all that matters right, since the world does revolve around him after all..... mlhb

not mine...

i did and every once in awhile get some sort of remorseful statement or action....the "well if i had it to do over again...i would" type comment....but when we were in MC when her A first came to light...the therapist made a comment to me that she had a "BLACK HEART"....

i didnt believe it then...i sure do NOW tho...

our kids are the ones that suffer the most tho....just the other day my 16 yr old daughter was talking to me about things (my X married her OP 3 weeks after D was final)
and made a comment that she is afraid to ask her mom who she loves more...her (daughter) or OP....

broke my heart!!...i told her i hope she never has to have that question answered....

i dont care anymore whether shes sorry or remorseful or repentant....her day will eventually come...i just have a hard time not "hating" her for what she did to our kids....

but "hatred".....that take alot of energy that i dont want to use for her....

i used to WANT a "sincere" apology....not only from my X but from the OP...as a man and former friend....but......

i just got tired of waitting and it never came....

now i dont care....

ive come to the conclusion (this may be alittle deep or philsophical) that she painted me as such an awful person in order to justify her A, now that she married OP, for her to apologize or show regret would be showing that i wasnt such a bad person and then she would have to admit she made a mistake....(i just dont see that happening)

its kinda funny tho...i see her life in the same rut it was before...the only changes she made was a new husband...nothing within herself...looking back....

i came out the winner!!!

not sure if thats the opinion you were looking for...

Hi...my ex apologized like the other post..."I am sorry IF I hurt you". IF....where in the world was he when I lost weight and the Dr. was concerned about my weight, when I was crying all the time, when I felt like committing suicide. He has not said a real apology and I will never expect one. He said during his sexual affair that it was BIOLOGY. He told me how inadequate I was sexually...and that he would tell any woman this. Of course he was comparing me to the other woman.

I believe a WS will never aplogize sincerely. They will bring forth excuses to make them look better, but no real sincere apology.

I read Sandy Pattis book of her betrayal to her husband. When the affair was brought forth and counseling was in process, she said she felt guilty, but didn't want everyone to know how she failed her marriage. So she denied the hurt. Because she was the BAD person. Her preacher asked her to go in front of her church congregation and apologize sincerely. She in her book said this was the hardest thing she ever did. Her parents were there, her husband was there, and the OM was there. At this point is when she finally got the inner strength to go forth and apologize....she apologized to everyone individually. It was a long process...and the congregation was there supporting her....and her parents were supporting her. When I read this book....I could feel the intense pain she was feeling.

Of course she did get a divorce....after counseling...they decided the marriage could not be saved. They are friends and share the quality of life with their children.

This I feel is an extraordinary woman...and who helped her get through this was her pastor. He was one wonderful man and had sincere faith in Sandy.

Would be nice if my ex had apologized without the 'but'.

This is my view on this ?. LoveinHim