I guess I am Plan B'ing for myself, don't want to have to see WH, too painful.

Still have to have some contact with WH though, due to the kids.

I was told I should send WH a Plan B letter.

Doesn't that defeat the purpose though? He'd laugh at it, since I've already filed D.

He's living with OW, seems happy. I think he's welcoming D.

Any suggestions as to what I should do?

It wouldn't be hard to rephrase the PBL to accommodate your situation. (E.g., "although I have filed for divorce, I would be happy to reconsider our marriage if you dump the loser. Otherwise, I'd prefer not hearing from you and dealing through intermediary X...")

Although Plan B is not designed to take you through D -- I myself found it immensely helpful not to deal with his fog during the legal process. I highly recommend it.

I am in "Plan B" to this day -- at least in the sense of not wanting to deal with him, even post-divorce.

Thanks!

I guess I'm just scared that he and the OW are going to laugh their butts off at me and say, a little bit too late to be thinking of reconsideration now.

I mentioned to him the other day, had he not had the A, this, (D), wouldn't be occuring right now. He just said "Oh well", like he's accepted the fact that I filed and he's moving on.

I just don't want to look so desperate like I filed too hastily and now I'm second guessing myself. I now he would love for me to do that.

Guess I'm trying to keep some pride intact.

I had exactly the same fear when I sent my PBL. He'd moved in with her six months before, and I thought the PBL would be worse than a joke.

Everybody on the boards had to beat me up to get me to send the PBL anyway.

He acted very funny (I saw him in public) when I saw him the day after -- like he had been turned on by it. Oh well, he was always an attention freak.

Point is, you don't know how they're going to take it. What I learned was the PBL was for ME. It was my last, best, finest word, my highest note -- my statements of my intentions and my love (believe me, there were plenty of other emotions circulating). A road map back to the marriage, if he chose to take it.

I knew I could never state my feelings that succinctly, or that postively, again. There was nothing for me to add. Ever. It was great.

There are ways you can word this so it doesn't look like second thoughts. Others can help on the board. Say that you filed for D because you thought it for the best, but wished the truth were otherwise. You still love him, and wish for your marriage -- but not with her in the picture.

Again, post the letter here and you'll get help.