Ya know, I listened to Dr Bill Harley tell a man, WS, today, that the first thing he tells anyone who has been betrayed is that they have the right to get a divorce right away or at any time if they think the pain of betrayal is so bad that they do not want to stay married.

He then said that he considers the betrayal of infidelity the same as a spouse being physically beaten and the need for safety as important. I know the pain you have. It was many months before my husband told me the truth and he also put it on me.

IASS will tell you soon, I can feel it in my bones. He is trapped in his own fantasy that "sorry" is enough and telling you any more will just fuel a fire he is trying to get YOU to put out.

What you are feeling is slap bang in the middle of normal. Sadly so is IASS. But if he hangs around MB he will get with the program sooner rather than later. When you hear the truth, cruel or illogical or foolish as it may be. Something in you will let go, you will know it is the truth and see his logic, even though you won't agree with it.

It is the understanding that frees you. The code to the puzzle. Not the details he is so afraid to give, but the giving you the chance to piece together the whole puzzle and seeing it fit.

I hope you are reading this IASS, Nikko said it, as usual, as I thought it.

Listening to Dr. Bill today I thought of how unsafe I felt until I got the truth. It felt good, reassuring, to hear him equate the two pains and their gravity and I knew it was time to post to you both.

Just do it IASS ... start the process of healing your marriage .. today.

Every day you delay harms it more.

SP