I'm sorry; I mistook the ministry position as being a minister.

However, what I said about his examining his own motives still stands. His possible fear of losing the respect of church members should not stop either of you from doing the right thing.

I don't know what denomination y'all are, but the Bible is very explicit that when we have wronged another (or that person has a grievance against us), we are to go to that person for reconciliation before we can lay our offering (or take communion) before God. I don't think that "reconciliation" in this context necessarily means that the person forgives you, but that you go to that person, confess, and apologize, which is basically all you can do in your situation.

Oh, and whether the person knows she has a grievance against you is irrelevant. YOU know that you have wronged her; and yes, by not telling her, you continue to wrong her, in direct disobedience to God.

Bumping for 2B - Mortaman has it right on here.

You seem to have it nailed 2B with sorrow and crying out to God for forgiveness. How about making amends?