H told me last night that OW does work for his company in her country...this is where H did training for employees and met her. Do I expose to his manager? If so, how do I tell him? I stupidly told H I would not say anything but know from this site how important exposure is... but then also worried about the fallout afterward.

What is the status of the A?

L.

A is ongoing...EA now but only because of distance involved...H has not agreed to NC b/c he goes back and forth re: leaving me to be w/OW or staying and trying to salvage M. Talks to OW every day.

Not sure about exposure b/c H works for company here in states, OW 1600 miles away, but same company...

Does the same human resources department service both sites?

There's one place that the Harley's make it VERY clear... he said expose... and then added... take out an ad in the newspaper if you must but expose to everyone. It is an invaluable tool.

MF - No, HR would be different, this is a large company w/locations worldwide. So may not be worth it...

I just feel like nothing has been accomplished in the month since D-Day...I feel like any hope for our M loses ground every time he talks to OW.
I did say one thing last night about the calls that was from a post on this site.
H was going outside to make 'the call'...i said hang on a minute...I took his hands in mine and I looked him straight in the eye...
i said "I know that you are calling her now, and I don't usually say much about that. I want you to know that every time you talk to her I am hurt so badly. I feel very alone, and I feel hopeless about our marriage and about you. I am not telling you this to upset you, I am telling you because it is the truth and I wanted you to hear me say it".

No tears, but I never stopped looking at him. H, of course called anyway, but the look on his face and in his eyes told me that statement shook him up.

Any help here when the WS is wavering back and forth w/BS and OW?? What do I do or say? What do I not do or say??

((( MPELE )))

I have no words or wisdom for you, as I am not an expert in this. Others here are and they will help you.

Please know that you are not alone.

Bless you, carnation

Looking for help regarding my last post and fence-sitting...needing some words of wisdom to use for the week-end ahead.
THanks!
MPELE

okay... your last post shows that you are a warm and caring woman... I think it is time to follow that emotion up with some strength. You need to expose this situation to any and everyone immediately.
You need to insist that your H end all contact with this woman as a condition for him to remain in your relationship.. and until he ends his communication with her... he needs to leave. You are putting yourself through emotional torture every single day. His actions are typical and hurtful. It is time to take control of your tomorrows... starting right this minute.
Good luck to you.

This is where I get incredibly scared...b/c H doesn't know if he wants to remain in the relationship...i am worried if I tell him to leave that will just open the door to more and more contact w/OW...i thought since OW is so far away that my being in the home with him (and Plan A'ing of course) would be better...okay, better if he wasnt calling, i know...

IT might be... I just make the decisions now based on what is going to keep the BS most whole. Dealing with his continued contact is hurtful. It is in your face and frankly, I could not continue to deal with it. All contact would need to cease from my perspective and if he wants her... then let him have her. At least you will have your answers. Putting his feet to the fire with exposure and setting your personal boundries could be the best thing you ever do for yourself and your M. You are teaching him how to treat you with respect.

I am of the belief that since your H is a serial cheater... you go immediately to plan B. There is NO reason to be plan A'ing this putz. He knows the drill... and you need to make him aware that there is a new sherrif in town... integrity. It is the price of admission for your M and life. If he doesn't have it... he doesn't get to play.
Stop playing his game and set the rules that should govern your marriage.
Insist immediately on NC, MC, exposure and a post nuptual agreement. He is no going to respect you until your respect yourself.
Now, ask yourself if you can do better than a man that is ready to leave his W for a slu$ that he has known for just one week. There is something perverse in his thinking and you CAN DO BETTER!!!

Stand up and be counted. Today. Now. I did... and guess what... we are no longer together. She is alone and miserable... I am happily involved with someone and loving life today.

Today.... now.

Wow, thanks MEDC...I hope I can do this, I know I should...it is just so hard and I am hurting so much.

I like what you told the WS about being sad and hurt but you gotta take it up a notch.

I agree with what mkeverydaycnt posted. More importantly you gotta get past being hurt to being angry for him messing with you and your family's life w/this A. You don't seem t/b there yet.

The longer you wait, will heighten that impact. When you do get mad and if you don't have a plan, all he!! can break lose.

Now do you want a plan or just stay hurt?


L.