I haven't posted here much but I have been reading....
Here is my story please keep in mind as you read it most of this happened before I found MB.

I had been living with my BF for 7 years - I have a daughter from my marriage he has no kids and has never been married.

In late October my BF went on a business trip his first trip for a training class it was two weeks long but he came home on the weekend. The second week there he met some girl they developed a friendship he has told me that it was nothing more then a friendship. I recently emailed her and she confirmed that nothing happened. Yet they spoke on the phone every Friday on the way home from work and every Monday on the way to work. The calling between them happened during the month of December. In January I found out that he was having a PA with a girl from work. He says they only kissed etc. no sexual activity. How I discovered his PA was that he started coming home late from work he said that people were going out after training in my gut I knew something wasn't right so after three day of him staying out late I got up at 3:00 AM and turned on his cell phone and there it was a text message from a girl he worked with that said "I miss you bad" that was on a Wed. That Friday he didn't come home at all he called my Saturday morning and said I didn't come home because I was drunk and couldn't drive but I stayed at a hotel room by myself.

I told him to only come home if it was to pack his bags. He came home and tried to act like it was nothing. I packed a bag for him and told him to leave. As he was standing at the door he asked if I was sure I replied that I was he then left. He continued to call me to talk about his relationship with her and he also wanted to come to the house to do his laundry. This went on for about 2 weeks. I couldn't take anymore I cut off all communication with him - no emails - no text messages - no calls - he started coming by the house calling his mom to see how I was doing since I wouldn't talk to him. One day he called me out of the blue and we started talking again and "dating". He asked me if he quit his job and went to MC if I woul take him back I said I would. Then I found out a week later that he was still taling to her as he says to keep the peace before he left work. He hasn't had any contact with her since.

The other day when I was cleaning I fould a receipt that he sent the girl he met in Chicago flowers for her birhday back in November and it hurt me so bad. When I asked him about the flowers he said he sent them to his mom - I then said $70 worth of flowers and he didn't say anything. Any way it was eating as me so this morning I confronted him again about it and he said he did send them to her but it was nothing. I'm so hurt by all of this and I can't seem to get over any of it. Part of me wants to tell him to just leave. The other part of me knows that I'll miss him so much. After all of this I still love him very deeply but I just can't go on with the hurt.

I guess my question is how do I move on after all of this? Anyone who has been through this and some how managed to keep their sanity please share with me what you did to get through off of this. I'm hurting so much and I'm not sure if he understands how much he hurt me. Especially when he tells me I need to get over it because he can't listen to it every day........I'm so hurt and lost....

Thanks for your time.

Dear Sadtimes,
welcome to MB.
The problem with cheaters (and it seems your BF is still an "active" cheater) is that they are on a totally different kind of emotional level than the ones they hurt. He is getting lots of attention from these women - you have been dealt a blow to your self-respect, to your trust in him, to everything you hold dear. I'm afraid that he will continue with his behavior because he (still) doesn't realise how deeply this has hurt you. You will have to make it very clear to him that you will NOT tolerate more. If you keep letting him crossing the line, and taking him back in, he'll suppose you're really "OK" with what he does.

Please read up here on the MB website so you'll feel more supported. Meanwhile - yes, you have every right to feel deeply hurt and he will have to face up to the consequences of his behavior if he loves you and wants to stay in a relationship with you.

Hugs from a BS who know darn well how you are feeling now !

YIKES!!! I think I would ask him to leave. You are not married and have no kids. Think what it would be like if you had a couple of children and he pulled this stuff.

If he can demonstrate that he can change, and really "gets it", over a period of many months, then maybe you can think of getting back together. In the meantime, I would date others.

Okay I did it I asked him to move out this morning I told him that he left me no choice since he is not capable of telling the truth. I reminded him that when we got back together that he needed to be totally honest with me and since he wasn't and knew what the outcome of his actions would be he needed to leave.........

Is it odd that I'm very calm and feel more at peace then I have in a while........

Hopefully the lonliness and sadness I feel will fade over time........

What was his reaction?