My therapist says I'm codependent. But I still don't have a full grasp on the term. He tells me to set boundaries. But I don't fully know what that means. So, I set a boundary with FWH. If he crosses that boundary, what do I do? Call it off? Tell him to leave? I'm so confused, I don't even know what boundaries to set, other that NC with OW, which I'm pretty confident he is doing.
But the intimacy thing is tough. Therapist says I have fear of abandonment. No sh** Sherlock. My dad left when I was 12. Now this ... Affair and all. Of course I have a fear of abandonment. So what do I do with it? H's affection toward me is minimal right now. It's amazing how he's manipulated the situation, again. He's done all the bad stuff to me and the kids, taking it up with some OP. After all the ******, I let him back in. But somehow, he makes me feel like I should be grateful he came back to me!
I am grateful, grateful for us to have a second chance. But I'll be darned if I know how to act around him while he floats around in the fog.
I feel like I'm walking a very tight rope, trying not to Love Bust, trying to make him feel at home again, but at the same time, not to resort to appeasement. To me, the Plan A thing is a very fine line between meeting his needs, and kissing his back side.
He comes home. I don't R talk. I make his dinner, I clean up after him. I leave him to watch television, take a nap. I try not to bother him.
I don't know guys. I feel like I just don't know what I'm doing here.
