Looking for help regarding my last post (Expose?) and fence-sitting...needing some words of wisdom to use for the week-end ahead.
THanks!
MPELE

((MPELE))

I wish I had those pearls of wisdoms to give you to feel better.

What do you feel is the right thing to do?

Have the last four years been good, or have they been filled with strive and unhappiness?

Do you have the strength to Plan A and expose?

Do you want to save your marriage?


k.d.'s heartbreak

The last 4 years...well, good and bad. One of the major issues was that we never dealt with A#1 the right way...did some IC/MC but then stopped. I built up major resentment and anger w/H...also begani drinking more than I should to self-medicate. H was trying, gave up all email/phone/passwords, etc - stayed home most of the time w/me and D...i never forgave him and never let go of the A. 3 years after I would still bring it up. This is NOT to say that i think A#2 is my fault, but the M was not in good shape, to say the least.
That being said, I feel as if my eyes were opened after this most recent D-Day - like I have been living in my own fog in the marriage, blinded by my resentment and bitterness - and it took this, as awful as it is, to open my eyes to all that we didn't do in our marriage.
Yes, I want to save it. Yes, I still love my H with all my heart.
I have been plan A'ing since D-day, some LB but less and less now. SAA is on it's way to me.

H and I actually go day to day fine for the most part - we get along, we do things together, cook dinner, go to D softball games...it would appear normal except for OW lurking 1600 miles away, and the fact that H shut off most affection after D-day...he does still ask for backrubs, he does still kiss me goodbye in the mornings...he put his wedding band on recently after having it off for 2 weeks. Are these good things, or am I just dreaming here??

U don't sound convinced or safe. What is your H going t/d about that?

L.