I have been so good at Plan A....H and I had a nice night last night...and then...I will just lay it out there and pray for your help here - been up all night...

Didn't eat all day. Drank a couple beers. Saw 'I love you' text from OW. Threw remote. Hit window. Broke window. H is livid. I am beside myself...how can I be so ok and wonderful at Plan A then it all falls apart in one night???

He livid at being caught? He should be livid at her. Is there any way to block her texts/calls from his phone? I'd like to know for my sitch as well.

A is ongoing - he talks to OW every night...I know she texts but have tried not to look b/c of what I don't want to see...think H is going to leave me for her even though I am trying to save my M desperately...

Not eating and then drinking beer is not a good idea Mpele, but you probably know that..
When in plan A it's also important that you take good care of yourself.
You need all the help you can get - friends and/or family to talk to, a therapist to process stuff with..
Posting here to vent rather than breaking things.
Or break them when you're alone.
I tried smashing old plant pots and old dinner plates against a wall (from a safe distance, mind you) and that works wonders.
Plan A is a very hard thing to do... hang in there.
Keep posting.

Thanks BH..yes, I know that about eating/drinking and the latter has been an issue for a couple years, so of course H sees that as an example of my not being able to change my behavior...that and my temper which obviously made itself well known last night.
Yes, I know there was a trigger but now all I can think about is why didn't I just go to bed?? Why did I check the stupid phone knowing there would be a text message??? A glutton for punishment or just hurting beyond belief?? I don't know anymore...this is SO hard!!!

Okay, first off, you have too many threads going and it is tough to keep track of them all. Second, this is what I sent you yesterday on one of your other threads...

"I am of the belief that since your H is a serial cheater... you go immediately to plan B. There is NO reason to be plan A'ing this putz. He knows the drill... and you need to make him aware that there is a new sherrif in town... integrity. It is the price of admission for your M and life. If he doesn't have it... he doesn't get to play.
Stop playing his game and set the rules that should govern your marriage.
Insist immediately on NC, MC, exposure and a post nuptual agreement. He is no going to respect you until your respect yourself.
Now, ask yourself if you can do better than a man that is ready to leave his W for a slu$ that he has known for just one week. There is something perverse in his thinking and you CAN DO BETTER!!!

Stand up and be counted. Today. Now. I did... and guess what... we are no longer together. She is alone and miserable... I am happily involved with someone and loving life today.

Today.... now. "

Plan A needs to stop NOW... Plan B is called for with dealing with this serial cheater. In addition, you are pushing yourself beyond what you can handle. It is time for you to stop being the victim here and to take the controll for this recovery. NOW... so I would strongly suggest that TODAY is the day this changes. If you do nothing different today, expect no changes by tomorrow.

Sit your H down this afternoon, tell him that continued contact in any form is a deal breaker and that he needs to leave until he agrees to your NON NEGOTIABLE terms. Marriage counseling, NC, transparency in everything he does, etc.
YOU need to make this happen because he will not change anything unless he is forced to do so. If you can't do this, I would suggest it is time for divorce before you hurt each other more. BUt my suggestion is for you to FIGHT for the life of your M... but for heavens sake, don't let another day pass without doing it. TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!