Hello, I am a newlywed of 10 months. My husband and I dated for 2 years before we were married. Things haven't been so great, and what is so frusterating is that I have been going through personal growth. I admit since we met I have the controlling wife. However, for the last two to three months I have had the "if you can't beat'em join'em" attitude. And it sorda worked until, I have gotten tired of giving in all the time. My husband likes to play golf and hang with the guys. He has a full time job and also mows grass on the side. We get his 3 kids every other weekend, and so on the weekends we don't have the kids we try to do stuff together but it just doesn't work out. We have nothing in commom. And this weekend Friday night we were both exhausted from work and both had to work Sat morning so we called it an early night. Then, Sat comes he gets off work early I was off at noon, I went to my parents to see some family in from out of state, by the time I get home he wants to go watch the UFC which I don't care for so, another night apart. Tomorrow he is playing golf in the morning and lucky me he says I will get him from 1:00 till time for bed and another work week. I have been telling him that somethings haven't been right with us and we need time together and it's always something comes up. I told him this weekend to choose UFC or Golf? He said Golf so he made a T time and now of course, Saturday rolls around and I am at home crying writing this so someone will reach out to me. Before he left I said something is not right, he said well I'm not gonna argue with you I have to go I love you honey see you later. I want someone who can't wait to see me, who can't wait to get home, who would tell the boys-tape it I'll watch it later I've got something better at home. He says he loves me and I say that I love him but how can you love someone if you have nothing in common, nothing to talk about so on and so forth. I am longing for something that I can't seem to get with him. And when we do try to talk it's I should be thankful he comes home at all in the evenings. He wouldn't come home for days with his ex wife. And he is a 31 year old man and he was doing fine before he met me. But, he loves me right?? Sorry this is so long I just had to get it out. Any advice out there? It is very welcome.

So what did you two do before you married?

Why are you not doing those things now?

You want someone who will tape the games. He wants someone to watch the games with him.

Why not golf with him, watch some games with him, etc.

I think there is an interests survey here for recreation. Why don't both of you take it and try to find areas of overlap where you can agree to try things together with him and see if you can agree and schedule at least 15 hours of time together doing things you both agree upon each week.

He will probably want time on his own as well, so come to an agreement about what that looks like, something you both can mutually and enthusiastically accept.

Sounds like you still want control. You want him to change.

What are YOU willing to do? What are his needs and recreation desires? Take up golf, watch the UFC, if nothing more than to offer good natured ribbing about how you could whip him.

Then, in the middle of the show, "take him" if you know what I mean <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />