This past saturday I finally got some reasoning for our seperation and her unhappiness. She told me she wasnt happy, but now tells me it is with herself and her life. When I met her she was pretty much a redneck, spoke her peace, liked tattoos and body peircing, and country music. I was the quiet one, didnt like tattoos and peircings or country music. Ive changed, listen to a little country, got a tattoo 2 months ago, thinking about earring, and find her belly ring a little bit sexy now. She says she changed because of me and I did appolagize for it. Our worst problem was instead of talking about it she just changed. I told her I missed her the way she was and she said I didnt like the way she was. My reply was I married and loved the redneck and still do love her. It was a good conversation, opened my eyes a little. Dont know where to go now. Still didnt get any conversing about where we are at or want to be and dont want to push her in any way. Any suggestions?

Sounds like she has some DJs going on...her assumptions about you, your view of her, etc.

I believe you love her for her essence...her being...not her tastes and doings...

Have you read up on Plan A? You can do a search. I think you're looking at an affair...I'm sure others have suggested this...can't recall how much you snoop to find out...

See, the DJs are for justification...she believes her assumptions...there's a payoff in it...

You did really well in your conversation. Excellent. You were honest. Stay honest. Speak with "I feel" and "I believe" statements. Ask her out on dates, for RC time...

Share how you're working on yourself...MB...learning about love busters, ENs...the love bank...seeing how relationships work and how great they can be.

Share. No educating. Your thoughts, feelings and beliefs are valid and worth sharing. Take every opportunity to do so.

Please do not apologize for what you didn't do...she chose to change herself based on a DJ...a disrespectful judgment. She love busted herself. You can't stop her. You're not responsible for it.

Do the EN questionnaire as if you were her...figure out her ENs the best you can and then fill them as much as she allows you to...make love your choice....choose to love...not because of what she does, likes, dislikes or behaves...but because you choose her to love.

Growing yourself changes everything. That's what I found out.

You can do this.

LA