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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310 |
This is the GIFT that my H's Infidelity has given to me.
I've gained a sense of my Personal Power...my essence..my influence...
I've learned that I am WORTHY of a FEAST and not CRUMBS.
I've learned that I can make it on my own without him..if I have to..if I choose to do so.
However, my life is enriched by him. He is MY HUSBAND...not some other woman's MAN. I have CHOSEN to be with HIM and HE with me...as ordained by GOD.
CLAIM THIS..AS YOUR CONVICTION...THIS IS YOUR MAN..THIS IS YOUR MARRIAGE...
Take this opportunity to LEARN and TO GROW as a PERSON..to gain some understanding of yourself and who you are...and of what this life is all about...
Take your focus off of your SPOUSE or the OW. FOCUS ON YOURSELF...who you are..who you are destined to be..where you want to go in this life...what is your purpose?
Once you begin this FOCUS on yourself and your own personal growth, you will be all the more valued by your spouse...
And if he does not value you, it will be his loss...BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS SPECIAL AND WORTHY..
YOU ARE YOU....
(Not trying to be gender-specific but easier to express myself this way)
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,300
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,300 |
Yes ... ordained by God. Which is why I won't let go.
In all of this nightmare, I have come closer to God. I pray, pray, pray ... for my husband, for me, my kids, and my marriage. There are times when I want to wave the white flag, but then I remember that God put us together to learn lessons from each other.
I am trying to find myself in this. I'm writing, writing, over 300 pages done in my novel. Also trying to think about my own codependency issues. I don't even really know what that means, yet. But I'm working on trying to figure it out. It's a start ...
Thank you, Mimi
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 179
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 179 |
My IC gave me a LifeCoaching Exercise:
The Ten Pillars of a Balanced Life.
They are helpful no matter which Plan you're in!
I call them "The Roadmap For My Journey Forward"
Professional: even if you're a SAHM, you have interests
Financial: good to get a handle on, even if you're not going to Plan B
Physical: walking, working out, anything to keep moving
Spiritual: can be anything from journaling to attending a retreat or doing a Bible study
Social: going out with friends; doing new things; getting involved in new activities
Intimacy: I'm trying to find an Accountability Partner to help me stay on track with my Plan; could just be going to your IC once a week to sort out your feelings
Family: plan a vacation; celebrate holidays; don't have kids or a family nearby? get involved with a family-oriented group in your community.
Learning: a class you've always wanted to take? a place you've always wanted to visit? a personal development book you've always wanted to read?
Home: learn to decorate, garden, organize...be creative!
Play/Fun: join a sport, take a fun class, do something you've never done before.
hugs,
cgw
BW: me (52)
WH: him (51)
D Day #1: 8/14/04 (OW #1)
D Day #2: 12/10/05(OW #2)
M'd 28 yrs, together 32
DS: 25, 17; DD: 23
2004-05: False recovery(OW#1)
Plan A: he came back...
but is not committed to recovery.
Plan B: lived 10 months off & on w/OW#2
Plan D: nearly final except for mediation
Plan ME: Starting over with MY Life
Plan R: divorce stopped @ FWH request; Retrouvaille Weekend (2/07)
Plan Now:FWH committed & working hard on Recovery
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
I have learned to be of service to others going through infidelity .... something I claimed (right after D-day) I would "never, ever do" .... because I did not want to dwell on infidelity. So, I don't dwell on infidelity. I managed to find a way to be of service in ways that are not detrimental to me personally, or to our recovery. It was as if I was led here.... hmmmmmmmmmm Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823 |
Hi Mimi, you're a wise woman!
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187 |
Well said, Mimi....
xW called me Thursday night to discuss some insurance issues. We talked about the kids and other things too.
She told me she's "better" now. I asked her what that means about #2OM.
She said they would always be friends and they were meant...CLICK...
I just hung up...I don't deserve that anymore.
I had a mentor that taught me:
".... my Personal Power...my essence..my influence...
I've learned that I am WORTHY of a FEAST and not CRUMBS."
Thanks...
Last edited by Formerly G.G.; 07/10/06 01:11 PM.
Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
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