imissmyfriend,

So... what's happening now...?

(Orchid and noodle, I'll give you folks the last work on any disagreement between us. )

-AD

first off holy abbreviations!! im in the military and dont think we have that many.

But my update is...

we are still where we were at talking and hanging out everyday. did some snooping around for signs of an affair and everything is normal. checked her cell phone and nothing no weird calls always where she says she is. SHE actually called and set up the sessions with the marriage counsoler start the 28 of july. and talks and acts like she wants it to work. says she doesn't want to sleep back at home yet because she feels wierd beacuse of having no feeling of love for me. but doesnt want to give up on are marriage. so with GOD's help(and the counsoler) this marriage works out.

pary for us

Glad she is willing to work with a MC. Get a good one.

It would be good to be prepared. Read up on His Needs/Her Needs as soon as possible.

Do you need help with the acronyms?

L.

piojitos gave me a link to all of them thanx thou.

i was actually going to start a new discussion about what to expect from the counsoler sessions and if they really do work. its 2 weeks away and im a little nervous and very anxious because i want it to work i kinda cant wait.

If you read the basic concepts above and His Needs/Her Needs along with Surviving an Affair, then you will be better equipped to handle what the plan the counselor may suggest.

Generally 1st sessions are basically letting the MC getting to know both your stories. Then there could be an assignment or two followed up by either joint or individual sessions (depending on the MC's findings).

Of course, you could just call up the MC and ask their procedure. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

why would they have seperate sessions? i could understand one to get our stories. but i thought they would all be together so we are working on our marriage together?

IMMF,

They might have seperate sessions to address individual issues which affect the marriage - such as issues arising from childhood. Also, if one of you tends to talk more than the other, the counselor might have a better chance getting the point of view of the less talkative one in a 1-on-1 session. And finally, if either of you is unable to sit still and listen while the other says some things with which you don't agree, the C will have to have separate sessions so that you both have a chance to give him your point of view.

I don't know what works best. I only went to a few sessions with a counselor and my xw only attended one. The only time she came, he kicked me out and talked to her about her childhood. She resented hearing his opinion that her family was "disfunctional" - and I don't think that session helped anything. She never went back to the C again.

I'm rooting for y'all.

-AD

Any news from IMMF?

We are doing alright given the situation. we get a long fine and are going on a "date" tonight. first one really (just the 2 of us) since our daughter was born 2 1/2 years ago. we start counseling next friday. we still talk every day and see each other amost everyday. just dont know whats going to happen. gotta stay positive.

IMMF,

I'm glad to hear of your progress.

Yes, staying positive is a major victory.

-AD