Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime

Welcome to the
Marriage Builders^® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com

Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Confronted.... DELETED

Print Thread

Page 2 of 2

Re: Help with confrontation! at peace #1707405 07/13/06 04:56 PM
Joined: Mar 2002 Posts: 16,412 S star*fish Member
star*fish Member S Joined: Mar 2002 Posts: 16,412	Zoomba, If it waddles like a duck and it quacks like a duck....it's a duck chere. Yanno what I think?.....I think your husband is "smooth". I think he knew all along this would bother you and I think he knows why it bothers you and I don't believe he'd think there was nothing wrong with it if you were doing it. As you say....at the very least he's having an inappropriately intimate relationship with this woman that takes time and energy from your marriage. Does he intend to stop? And how about that watering hole? If it were my husband.....I'd make sure to be a part of his most enjoyable time. Show your husband...and everyone else....that you're interested in his whole life...even his wateringhole. Mark your territory chere....the world if full of squatters. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Re: Help with confrontation! star*fish #1707406 07/13/06 06:54 PM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	Zoomba, this is just a little too cute by half and I ain't buying it. She felt perfectly free to send your H risque texts for good reason. He did not stop her...for good reason. In fact, he said it was ok because he had every confidence he could sell this if caught. I would keep your eyes peeled, but more importantly, I would ask that he end all contact with this woman and share your evidence with the OW's H. He needs to know also that "nothing is going on" so he can protect himself from "nothing." Agree very much starfish that you should go with him to the bar. Not sharing one of his hobbies with him does nothing but make him vulnerable. "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101

Re: Help with confrontation! MelodyLane #1707407 07/13/06 07:20 PM
Joined: Mar 1999 Posts: 2,121 N Nerlycrzy Member
Nerlycrzy Member N Joined: Mar 1999 Posts: 2,121	Yep...same ol' story I got too. "Just friends" "Just a very nice friendly little lady" "Didn't tell you cause I was afraid you'd try to make it into something it wasn't." Even took me to her house to introduce me and have HER tell me they were "only friends." And to show me she was NOTHING he'd ever be interested in. I left feeling ashamed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Maybe I was crazy... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> And the affair continued undetected for years.........

Re: Help with confrontation! Nerlycrzy #1707408 07/13/06 08:18 PM
Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 4,554 M ManInMotion Member
ManInMotion Member M Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 4,554	Quote Yep...same ol' story I got too. "Just friends" "Just a very nice friendly little lady" "Didn't tell you cause I was afraid you'd try to make it into something it wasn't." I almost caught my FWW midway during the A. She'd done something for someone, but refused to tell me who it was until a few months later, when she then said that she didn't want to tell me who it was because I "might get the wrong idea". I was completely fooled. I told her that I wouldn't have gotten the wrong idea because I understood that he was her friend and that she'd never do anything like have an A. And her A continued until he ended it months later. NEVER underestimate the deviousness of an active WS! It's almost primal in nature - a reflex action to protect their addiction. ManInMotion =========== (see "MiM's Story" for more details)

Re: Help with confrontation! DELETED ManInMotion #1707409 07/14/06 03:01 PM
Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 30 Z Zoomba Member
Zoomba Member Z Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 30	Post deleted by Zoomba

Re: Help with confrontation! Zoomba #1707410 07/14/06 03:42 PM
Joined: Oct 2000 Posts: 35,996 Shrek's Swamp P Pepperband Member
Pepperband Member P Joined: Oct 2000 Posts: 35,996 Shrek's Swamp	Oh ... My H did this same trick .... BEFORE he got caught, he told me "You will see some phone calls to ( OW name and her H name). They are asking my advice on some things. Just letting you know. It was not until 18 months later that I finally got smart! QUACK QUACK <~~~ your husband is a duck hunny .... snoop like crazy put a GPS on his car Pep LINK ~~> Carrot/Stick of Plan A LINK ~~> Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders

Re: Help with confrontation! Pepperband #1707411 07/14/06 04:25 PM
Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 8,297 K KiwiJ Member
KiwiJ Member K Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 8,297	Quote "Whew! Close one! Better be more careful about hiding things." At Peace's remark bears repeating. I'd lay money that's what your H is thinking right now.

Re: Help with confrontation! DELETED KiwiJ #1707412 08/02/06 05:37 PM
Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 30 Z Zoomba Member
Zoomba Member Z Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 30	Post deleted by Zoomba

Re: Help with confrontation! Zoomba #1707413 08/02/06 06:47 PM
Joined: Jul 2001 Posts: 5,247 L Lexxxy Member
Lexxxy Member L Joined: Jul 2001 Posts: 5,247	Don't give up so easily on the recorder. He is thinking is invinceable. You could EASILY fool him with a recorder. He is not looking for it. Hide it under a seat for 2 days and you'll have what you need. Is it a financial issue? If not look into the GPS too.

Re: Help with confrontation! Lexxxy #1707414 08/02/06 07:07 PM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	Which phone is he using to call her? The cell phone? Does he ever use your house phone? If so, you can put a tap on your phone. But you can also put a recorder in the vehicle that will pick up any converstations there. I would also consider hiring a PI to have him watched for a few days. You can buy a GPS unit here: http://www.landairsea.com/ OR http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...p;vc=1&nt=2 "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101

Re: Help with confrontation! DELETED MelodyLane #1707415 08/02/06 08:05 PM
Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 30 Z Zoomba Member
Zoomba Member Z Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 30	Post deleted by Zoomba

Re: Help with confrontation! DELETED Zoomba #1707416 08/03/06 09:59 AM
Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 30 Z Zoomba Member
Zoomba Member Z Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 30	Post deleted by Zoomba

Re: Help with confrontation! Zoomba #1707417 08/03/06 10:00 AM
Joined: May 2003 Posts: 108 A allforone Member
allforone Member A Joined: May 2003 Posts: 108	The newer voice activated ones will pick up his voice in the car even with other noise. Did you expose to the OW's H? It woulnd't hurt to have him watching her, too. FBW 36 Best help: www.aftertheaffair.net ebook for WS Moving forward with hope!

Page 2 of 2

Moderated by Fordude

Hop To

Link Copied to Clipboard

Forum Search

Welcome to theMarriage Builders® Discussion Forum

Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Confronted.... *DELETED*

Welcome to the
Marriage Builders^® Discussion Forum

Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Confronted.... DELETED