Still my favorite "beauties" :

OW (my "BF", or so I thought), on my asking why they didn't bother to use a condom:
"I'm not the sort of person who contracts STD's."

OW: "I didn't think it was wrong because it felt so right".

OW: "Your H really knows how to please a woman, I really enjoyed it!"
Me: "How can you be so insensitive to say that to me?"
OW: "I'm NOT insensitive!"

XWH: "Maybe we can have a threesome?"

One of the worst, but funniest was "When I sleep with you I feel like I am betraying OM." I couldn't help it I laughed in her face and said "Really, and how did you feel when you slept with him the first time?" Her respone "Well a little guilty, but I got over it." after laughing at her again I said "So I guess you'll get over feeling like you are betraying him just as easily." She stormed off. By the way I caught ****** for that one from Jennifer, should have said "Oh WW thank you so much for your honesty!"

My EX said the exact same thing...........

"Its OVER, you will never touch me again"

........3mo. later after SHE filed for divorce and it was over.

"You didnt even try and stay married to me, I didnt want this"

I was like......YOU filed, brought the papers to my apartment and had me sign them!!!!


WTF???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

How did you justify this??

"I told him so long as he knew I was in love with you and didn't want anything more than sex, it was okay."

Her response to my son walking in and finding the OM "fingering her...

"He didn't know what he was doing!!!" (My son was 6 and ran up to his room crying!)

Thousands of "I don't remembers!!!"

What do you wnat out of me?

"I want you to not make me look like a bad person... I just made a mistake."

For 3 1/2 years... a mistake?

"It was all the same mistake. I am a good mother."

"I knew I would stop eventually and that you would either not find out or you would forgive me."

Why did you have unprotected sex?

"I never thought about it."

"I thought you didn't love me anymore",

"Its not like I slept around, I had an affair",

and my all time favorite,

"I love how you lost weight for me"
to my response of not for him but because of him , I didn't eat for about 3 weeks after DDay. Sound familiar?

send me on my way wins with this one...


1 YEAR AFTER DIVORCE:

"I would appreciate it if you would not come over to pick up kids with 'happy' music playing, you're rubbing it in my face that you're happy


ha ha ha ha...

very very funny.......

ARKie

Eagle- I had the exact same situation as you'd described...when her and I first started to reconcile, she had trouble "seperating" me from OM in her mind when we were physically intimate. What makes it slightly more humorous is that they never met in person...he lives about 2000 away. She'd thought about being with him that way when WE were 'together'...so she had to break out of that 'fantasy' mode afterwards...was odd, but it made a twisted kind of sense to me. She'd almost convinced herself that they HAD been together because of the intensity of her fantasy for him.

Another one of her good ones...

From WW (at the time) to me, about 5 days before d-day when I'd voiced I was concerned about how much time she'd spent with OM online:
WW: You have NOTHING to be jealous of...we're just friends!"

Direct quote from WW to OM in her IM session with him the day before d-day:
WW: "you HAVE NOTHING TO BE JEALOUS OF!!!!!!!!!!!!" "I'm in love with you, and I know I'm falling out of love with [me]"

And then my all time favorite. On the day she was supposed to leave and live with OM (whom she'd never met in person), he could tell she was 'fence sitting'...not completely convinced she should go be with him, knowing she was going to lose me in any way, forever. (I'd made that point pretty clear to her) He told her not to come...and broke off the 'relationship' with her.

WW (crying her eyes out while sitting there yelling at me for ruining things):
"Couldn't you have just let me go be with him and see if what we had was real? If it wasn't, I would come back to you!"

Talk about some seriously interesting leaps in logic! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Last...on the recovery side of things. About a month into recovery, while coming back from a trip to the MC, we picked up a book he'd recommended. "20 (Surprisingly Simple) Rules and Tools for a Great Marriage" by Dr Steve Stephens. She wanted to drive, so I was in the passenger seat reading the intro, and then the table of contents. I got to chapter 15..."Make Mutual Friends". (remember she'd INSISTED that OM and I spend tons of time together in the MMORPG we played...she wanted us all three to be 'friends').

Me: "Chapter 15...Make Mutual Friends".
<deadpan silence while it sinks in>
FWW: <looks over at me with a sheepish grin> "Well...I TRIED!"
<we both think about that for a second, and suddenly break into laughter that nearly caused us to get into an accident>

First fully on belly laugh we'd shared since d-day!

Have a great day everyone!

classic- "I am really PO'ed that you "snooped" (after finding calling card he used to call OW)The THIRD D-Day!!!

ofcourse-"We are just friends- you're acting psychotic!"

When I confronted him because I knew she told him she wanted him back-and wanted him to come "see her"(EA with former longterm GF)
He says, "That shouldn't matter- I know I don't want her back- so who cares if she wants me back?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Still to this day says,"I lied to protect your feelings- I didn't want to hurt you" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

"I did nothing wrong except lie to you. I should have just told you we were talking."(they talked undercover everyday for 6 months) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Dobie, thanks for posting those links! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Reading through them again and then this thread proves that A's are really all the same....the WS script doesn't change much. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Lori

Owl,

You're killing me! Quote: "Well I tried!" AAHHHH!

Too Funny.

Have a great day!

My H dated a M woman for 2 years BEFORE we ever met.
When this was disclosed to me, I ofcourse questioned him about it.

I asked him why she didn't just leave her H if they wanted to be together so bad.

He stated with dead seriousness- "She could not divorce her H, her religion does not believe in divorce." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I had to pipe up and ask the OBVIOUS!!

SOOO, her religion believes in adultery???!!!

I actually think he had a lightbulb moment..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

OMG, I got the same thing from my FWW as well. At one point they even discussed all three of us going into business together.

Don't be mad at OW she had nothing to do with this.

You wouldn't put your house in my name so I never felt like we were together

OW is so much fun she likes to go to the bars and drink. She got so drunk the other night she couldn't even walk to the car she is nothing like you .......I was thinking thank God.

I always loved you but I didn't think you loved me so I really didn't think you would care.....I'm surprised at how upset and hurt you are over this.

This post was from a long time ago but it is hysterical!!

My hubby even added quite a bit to it. He was amazed by the crap that came out of his mouth.


http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...part=1&vc=1

Three months after d-day and me fighting seperation talk, my WW said...

"it will be an adventure for the kids to live in two seperate homes" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

OK...get ready...my WS has to get some prize in some category here....

"You don't know how really upset OW is about this A." (gee)

"How do you feel about the OW?" WS "I don't want to talk about OW." me "Oh, Me either!" WS

"Our marraige was over long before OW came along."

"Our kids will be fine as long as you don't keep them from me."

"My reputation should be important to you in this small town because I have to make a living here so I would think twice before I say anything to anybody about anything."

"If you tell people about me and OW I will be forced to tell them your bi-polar."

"As far as I'm concerned you and I are just roomates that F!@# once and a while."

"This whole time you think I was in limbo land I was really just trying to figure out my plan to leave."

"It's time to take off those wedding rings...you said you would go to mediation, you agreed, take them off!"

"You want a F!@# Your F!@#$% is waiting for you up at the local bar."

"I think you're just after my money."

"You have a drinking problem." (justification)

"You are a terrible housekeeper." (justification)

"I expect you to start work right away."

"OH GOD, get me out of this H##!!"

"Why is the fact that OW has moved around the corner insensitive...I don't understand?"

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have exposed the A to my mother."

"Just look at yourself, your pathetic and disgusting."

"Everybody knows you're a terrible housekeeper and I feel sorry for you because you come by it naturally." (justification)

"This last year (my plan A) you've put forth an heroic effort and if this was any other situation I would say ok."



Strongest

Its funny how our WS say the same lines, like there is a book out their on what to say. My WxH used many of the same lines. There has been so many lines/lies out of his mouth its hard to remember them all.

I remember when he exposed the A to me, He told me it would be okay with him if I wanted to have an affair.

or

Its God will that this all happened. I turned to him and said I didn't know God was into destroying marriages these days.

or

Since you have been so busy, I thought you would be happy that she can help you with your wifely duties. So I thought you would not mind.

or

I was the perfect husband until the affair.


Of course he used the classics, like

I love you but...

Wow....except for the I love you part, my wife said something very similar. Parts of that still come up occasionally...I really hate justification....

Mrs. Slick once said:

Marriage is a journey that has no finish line - so it's really more like a death march.


P.S., I had no idea at the time that she'd try to make it come true!

Just 2 days ago, after being confronted, with OW present:

"Weren't we broken up?"

Yeah, and still sharing a home, sharing a bed and being intimate.

Or how 'bout: "I wasn't being selfish. I just wanted to find out what *I* wanted. *I* wanted to see if I was missing anything."