Hi Peter-
I'm glad you told your wife about the third baby, and that her response was so loving and positive. When that baby finally comes into your home, this affair crud will be long over... and your nightmares will be about 2 AM feedings <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for the update Peter. Continued best wishes for you and your wife.

PS. OM will NOT always be there for her, but you will. She'll see that eventually, because you are there NOW. Your love and strength will blow her mind when she comes out of her fog.

Hi Peter,
I got so engrossed in the gift that I forgot to wish you congratulations for you and your wife.

It is wonderful that you are sharing such rewarding intimacy.
Regards,
Lake

Hi 09,

Thanks for the good wishes. I remember all too well still the 2AM, 5AM, sometimes 12 and 1AM feedings. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />))) But I wouldn't give those up for anything. They are precious times to spend with your young family.
Things have been going very well for us the last week or so. We have been going on late night walks after the kids go to bed, and just talking. Talking about anything and everything, some of it related to OM, but even this doesn't have the sting it used to when we talked about it. I really feel like things are healing. I hope all is well with you and your husband as well.

Lake, I haven't decided yet whether I will give the present back to OM. My wife said whe could regift it to someone else, but I don't even want the thing in my house. I will probably just end up throwing it out, but part of me still wants to return it to OM. Thanks for your continued support and good wishes. I know that I still have a ways to go in my healing, but it always helps to come here and get support from fellow MB'ers.

Take Care,

Peter,
So how are things with you and yours?
Lake

Hi Lake,

I haven't been checking the boards as much lately and didn't notice that you had posted to me. I try not to spend as much time here as I used as it tends to get me into reflective mood on what happened last year.

Things are going much better, thanks for asking. NC, after several tries, seems to be holding solidly. The OM made several attempts since last year to keep in contact. When he sent his last text message to my wife, I told him that if he tried again, we would take legal action.

I think for me, the biggest issue I still have is trying to figure out the why. My wife hasn't wanted to go any deeper to try and figure it out, but I am worried that if we don't, something could happen again. We talked about this a couple of weeks ago, and she is now willing to try and get this figured out. She also said she might try posting here, and I told her I thought that it was definitly worth a try for her. There is so much information on this board, I think that it could really help us.

Other than that, things between us have never been better. We talk and share things on a level of intimacy that we didn't have before. The walls that we had put up between us on certain issues are now coming down, and we are both happier than we've been for a long time.

Take Care,
Peter

Hi Peter,
Glad to hear you and your wife are doing well and that you told OM to get out your life.

I am sure that your wife would be welcomed on these boards and it might help her gain some insight into what allowed her to let down boundaries.

My H and I are doing well. We sometimes get lax on taking care of each other. We still have struggles with raising three teen boys. We don't always work in sinc and I have been attempting to remove myself from the tough guy role with the boys for the last five years <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />. I now end up in the tough guy role about twenty percent of the time as opposed to ninety percent of the time.

My H has actually stopped reading books and magazines during social/family/intimate times. That was one big thing I think I got out of his EA.

I think I still struggle with sitting back so that he can be more assertive. I guess we are a work in progress.

I have not talked to him much about the EA within the last months. He did have a romantic attachment to it as he had a romantic attachment to her in the past and to his own past. He has actually stopped daydreaming about his past and no longer thinks about old girlfriends, ball games, etc. I think he lives in the present more now than ever in our marriage. He shows appreciation for me and tells me he finds me more attractive now than ever before in our marriage. I have had more time to exercise for the last six years or so and am in better physical condition than ever in our marriage.

So, I guess we are doing well.