where do i begin?...s and i met a few yrs ago on an internet dating site...after much correspondence we met and have been together every since...recently planning to build a home and a future in marriage together...both of us are from dysfunctional homes...his remains intact ...mine was destroyed by a cheating father...can you say trust issues boys and girls?...we are very involved in each other's lives and families...both are products of divorce due to infidelity by our partner's and have children from those marriages...right from the beginning of our relationship s asked me if i had ever swung sexually....to which i said "****** no!"...i just never understood why people who love and care about each other could "give" their partner to another man or woman and derive sexual fulfillment from it....however, with his encouragement i did try to understand it and even went on to arrange a few meetings with other couples to try it out...i was not very comfortable with it and pretty much held up the swinging for everyone (nothing happened)....s conceded and said ok, no more of that...s and i have amazing chemistry and we often say we should've been siblings instead of lovers!...and our sex life has never been lacking to my knowledge (is that tmi?)...recently, i found out that s has been swinging for months with couples from a swinging website...i was shocked to find numerous emails and im's from women he had sexually chatted with or had had sex with...one even claiming that she loved him...and she lives in the same town i do!! ....and she is married!!!....found out these people had no knowledge s was "attached"....being a scorned woman has never been easy for me so i blew the whole thing wide open....exposing him to everyone on this website and to our families as well....all the kids are unknowing except an 18 yr old daughter who is enraged by the betrayal as well...when confronted s informed me that i was not meeting his needs in the bedroom...we came up with maybe 4 times i told him no either because i had to get ready for work or was sleeping...he accepts fault for what he has done and tells me he feels terrible for it....conceded that he has a sex addiction and that we need help...claims that he adores me and wants to have a life with me...in hindsight our turbulent times mostly occurred during his swinging dates...he even swung while i was recovering from a major surgery he wanted to "take care of me after"..and had a raging infection when sex resumed!!!...the effects of the lying and manipulation have had far reaching effects and i know everyone will think i'm nuts for staying with him....everyone who knows me knows that i despise cheating and lying and will tolerate neither... never have.....thing is i do adore s and i love him enough to go through the healing process with him and i know i will face humiliation and misunderstanding by both of our families....i am terrified and hurt beyond belief....s actually found mb and suggested it....after reading i can see that mb is straight up and for real....any insight would be helpful since no one else is going to be able to understand any of it....especially since it doesn't just involve an affair but a not very accepted lifestyle....thanks for listening....j