A few jokes I found online. Hope they pick up your day...
1)
A MB Poster approaches a hotdog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything."
He gives the vendor a $20 bill and waits. Finally he says: "Where's my change?"
Says the vendor: "All change must come from within." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
2)
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, and a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the he!! were you when I got married?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
3)
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
4)
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'honor thy father and thy mother' she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shalt not kill." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
5)
A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
The mother replies, "I don't like her." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
Have a great day, everyone.
Shaden
