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This has been around the internet for a while but thought it might be worth posting.
NAIL IN THE FENCE
A Good Story for Great Friends
There once was a little girl who had a bad temper. Her mother gave her a bag of nails and told her that every time she lost her temper, she must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the girl had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as she learned to control her anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. She discovered it was easier to hold her temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the girl didn't lose her temper at all. She told her mother about it and the mother suggested that the girl now pull out one nail for each day that she was able to hold her temper.
The day passed and the young girl was finally able to tell her mother that all the nails were gone. The mother took her daughter by the hand and led her to the fence.
She said, "You have done well, my daughter, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one." You can put a knife in a person and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say "I'm sorry," the wound is still there.
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole in your fence.
Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Awesome! And so very true! How are ya, my friend? I have thought of you often. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Excellent point.
Thanks,
L.
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Joined: Jun 2005
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Shattered -
Thanks for posting that - I had not read it before! Very good!!! I needed that........
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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I think we have all done this at one time or another
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Shattered, that is a great metaphor for AO. Thanks for posting and I hope your doing well. It's good to see you posting more frequently.
HTW
Married 10 years, Legally Seperated Aug 2,2006 1 year of Plan A followed by 1 year of Plan B... ...now stepping towards recovery????? BH 37(me), WW 35, DB 7 & DD 5 My Story My struggle with an EA
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Shattered,
Thank you for posting this. It is so true!
I once had a beloved Sunday School teacher who said, "When you are angry, choose your words with care so that you don't verbally abuse your spouse. Verbal abuse toward someone is the same as attempted murder, only it's the murder of someone's soul."
"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"
BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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Joined: Apr 2006
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Great post. Never read that before.
I think I'll copy it and give it to WH!
Like Cher's song says...word are like weapons, they wound sometimes.
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Joined: May 2006
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Thanks, I had to email it to some of my friends! I thought they would enjoy it also!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Hi Mel! Right now I am well, thanks for asking. One of these days I will post an update.
Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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