What is the appropriate approach to WS's anger when the WS finds out that BS has exposed?

Sweetness and light.

Don't appologise

Sympathy

The big guy said it. Sweet regretful response. No apologies.

His behaviour made it necessary for you to do it.

You can see how this is affecting him.

SP

When mine yelled at me for exposing the A (I exposed to his family, my work, his work, neighbors, my elders, the doctor, utility company - LOL!!, etc.....), anyways when I exposed he got really angry. He left some vile voicemail messages which I promptly recorded on a separate tape. The WS was too chicken to do it in person. So when I gained my composure I called him back to report to him that I received his 4 msgs and did what he asked. Then I hung up. He called back and now I had his attention. He said what did I do, I said, I told who I needed that you had a 'very good friend' who you decided to leave God and your family for and possibly everyone else your life.

I used his own description of the OW against him. He tongue was tied and he tried to babble.... I told him I didn't understand what he was saying and I had to go.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

"My intent was to intervene the only way possible to get us on the road to rebuild our marriage - reveal what's going on to the light of day. We cannot rebuild with a third person involved."

To yourself, smile very, very broadly - the amount of anger displayed by an exposed WS is directly proportional to their shame. Shame is the active ingredient of exposure.

Anger leads to shame. Shame leads to suffering. Suffering leads to withdrawal from OM. Withdraw she will.

You sounded so much like Yoda.

Thanks a ton. Unfortunately she took the exposure as desperation (not attractive).

however she took the exposure its got to be done and keep doing it

I have exposed to everyone possible. Bubble is cracking thanks to insider info thanks to a keylogger and mutual friends!

what do you mean bubble?do you mean its starting to work

I think so. The bubble = the protective bubble around their fantasyworld. The thing that protects them from REALITY. A mutual friend told me that my WS is not even sure the relationship with OM is going to work out. But she also said, that she would be willing to work things out if I would stop acting soo desperate!

Sometimes the fog rolls in with her, sometimes it rolls out, but it is beginning to thin and I am going to buy a bigassed fan (Plan A).

lol i hear ya pal as long as their shook up a little it cant be all bad right?
at least doubts are setting in

Yeah, but that's transference, because the desperation is her own...It's a desperation to continue to get her OM fix...And you are very RIGHT, it is NOT attractive, in fact, it is downright U-G-L-Y!!!

Good for you that you exposed!

Mrs. W