2B .... in your core .... you are excellent and most wonderfull

it does not take any special sight <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> to know that !!!

The reason for the Lancome idea...

I screen all our mail daily for junk mail. An envelope, even hand written, with no return address looks like junk mail to me (we get a lot of junk mail). I'd likely open it to see. A small box from Lancome I'd just forward to my wife unopened. It would be the most likely item to make it through my "controling" and "abusive" hands. <<<<snicker>>>>.

Someone else needs to give the method for starting a blog. You will need to indicate on the blog that you will take it down on a certain date. That information does not need to be permanently out their harassing the OM's W. She may obsess over that.

Instead of the gift or mail at all. A phone call from US or any third party directing the wife to the blog would be the most efficient and easily verified method. Otherwise, you just can't be certain it is/was HER that go the message. OM can just play himself off as her electronically.

Good luck, Mr. Wondering

LOL 2B...That is EXACTLY what I said to Mr. W! He said that you can go to Yahoo.com and they have an entire "blogging" section...So I looked it up, here is the link

Mrs. W

Thanks MrsW! (and MrW!) I will look into that. I think ordering something and having it shipped to her would insure that she, herself, would open the package (not her H)....especially if it was from a makeup company. You both have great ideas!

MrW, I missed this from above. I had thought that the OM could possibly pretend that he is his wife by going to the blog himself....This is making me think a phone call by a 3rd party directing her to the blog may the best option. I will take some time to think about this and also posting a blog for her to read and ask questions.

2BN-

That's the downside of the blog idea. You'll not know for sure that it was OMW that went to the site...and if she chooses not to respond at all, you won't know if she got the message or not.

This could be drawn out for quite some time if you're not sure that SHE got the message or not.

Find a way to "aim" this as accurately as possible. And find some method of ensuring for yourself that OMW got the message...so that you can let go of this and completely walk away with this whole thing in the past.

Hmmm...there have been offers of someone from here sending on your message so that it has a different mailing address. What city does OMW live in? Would someone be willing to hand deliver the message after verifying it was OMW and then walk away before she reads it?

Again, I'm just trying to come up with a method to make this a 'one shot, one kill' tactic. Get it over and done with, so that ALL of you are able to move on and heal.

Owl,
You are correct in that I want to make sure it is her that receives the message, and in doing so, I can put all of this behind me.


They live near Philadelphia. Anyone have any thoughts on this?...or does anyone live near Philadelphia that would be willing to hand deliver a letter? My husband said if the OM messed with her "not knowing" he would personally fly up there and make it right! Not sure if this would be good though!

I've got a friend that is a Philadelphia public safety official. He'd likely be glad to drop a note or letter by her home or office.

Mr. Wondering

edited to add: then the blog becomes pointless...the letter would contain it all with a phone number to your husband for further information, if necessary.

The blog would be used if, say, I were to call her for you. I wouldn't be able to provide her everything...I'd just direct her to the blog.

MrW,
If you ask your friend, they live in Souderton. I don't exactly know how far that is from Philadelphia. He would have to be willing to possibly make several trips if she was not home. That could become a burden if he doesn't live near there.

I am thinking through all of this...the 3rd party phone call with information for the blog?...or the hand delivered letter?.... And I would not need a blog if the letter were hand delivered.

P.S...I don't know where she works, so I couldn't provide information to deliver a letter to her office.

I've got an inquiry to my friend out now. Maybe she will respond today/tonight.

Mr. W

Thank you MrW. I appreciate you looking into this option.

I wonder what Mr W is finding out from his friend.

I had an idea, since you feel uneasy about putting your
return address on the envelope.

I am almost certain you can rent a post office box for
a short amount of time...from a near-by city in your area.

That way, the OM's wife could actually reply to you at that post office box number. (Without fear of your children getting the mail and questioning the letter.)
That is if this lady WANTS to reply.

Katie Mae, if you are reading this, do you have any ideas how 2B could be sure the OM's wife receives the letter?
(We are thinking registered mail that the addressee HAS to sign for would work.)

Would you do it differently if you could, since you do not
know if OM's wife received your pkg and letter? (Or even if it was intercepted by OM?)

Well, 2B, are you thinking of what you want to say in your letter to OM's wife?
The way of delivery will soon be 'a plan'for you.

IWRA,
That is a good thought about renting a post office box. I will be calling the post office tomorrow to find out about sending a letter by Certified Mail using Restricted Delivery. With Restricted Delivery, the letter will ONLY be delivered to the person designated. I would assume this would mean the person would have to show ID and also that the OM could not intercept the letter.

I have been thinking all day about what to write in the letter to the OM'sW. I was talking to my H more about this tonight and he is concerned with how she is going to receive this...(emotionally). I know my H is thinking back to when I confessed to him and how it all hit him and he never expected it. I want to be careful with my words to her, but yet she needs to know the truth. I've been praying for the right words...

Hi 2B been busy today with work.

Just a suggestion if I may?

I would not send her any photos.

I would be inclined to phone her up - rather than any other method. I do believe this should be done by your husband but if necessary, do you know a time you could be sure her husband would not be home? You could call then.

I do agree you need to give her enough information so she can confirm your affair with her husband (how you met, how it started and that you slept with im x times on y dates) but beyond that, can I suggest that you leave the rest of the details to her husband to reveal to her?

I am very pleased for you and your conscience 2B.

Hi BigK,
I appreciate your advice and support. I don't have any pictures to send her! I was referring to the pictures that the OM may still have in his possession. No, I do not know when the OM'sW would be home alone. I haven't talked to the OM in 2 years, so I don't know what their schedules are presently. Any call I would make myself would be risking the OM answering and, at the moment, my husband is not agreeing to make the call for me. He is fine with me taking care of this on my own and sending a letter.

I understand about the content of the letter. I will give her the facts and the rest of the details her husband needs to fill in.

I hope to have the letter written and the method of delivery taken care of by the end of the week, or possibly early next week.

Thanks again!

God Bless you 2B.

Have not heard from our friend in Philadelphia yet. Hopefully by day's end.

Post the draft letter. Lots of experience here to critique it.

Mr. W

Thank you MrW. I just called the post office regarding sending a letter by Certified Mail with Restricted Delivery. By sending it this way, the package or letter can only be picked up by the addressee. The addressee would have to show ID and sign for the letter. I do not know if the OM'sW would be able to see what state the letter was coming from, but if I'm guaranteed that only she can receive it, that shouldn't matter. What do you think of this method?

I'll try to draft up a letter in the next day or so when I have time and am at home. Then, I'll post it here for a critique.

2B, maybe it would be IDEAL for her NOT to be home when you call.

I know you don't want to leave a message but you COULD and
say that it is important that she call your cell phone number...you would have
to say you have something to tell her about her
husband and you from 3 years ago or she wouldn't call back.

I am thinking if you had someone on MB (or myself) call her, we could request her email
address and say a friend of ours has something important to tell her about an affair with
her husband...something like that. It really would be best if YOU called her, even
if you pretended to be a third party since you do not want to talk with her and
would rather write her.

Then you could email her and say what you want (NEED) to say.

I see Mr. W is requesting your draft letter, are you working on it? I am amazed how
difficult to figure out how to contact her and the next difficulty will be what exactly to say.
That is a good idea to have MB friends critique what you write.

P.S. Can you think of any way to get her email address?
I thought of classmates.com, I think we can email them there but if they are not
GOLD members, they can't read the messages.

How did OM1 get the email message to you through Classmates?
Maybe you could get a message to HER the same way???

Well, if I left a message, I couldn't guarantee that she would hear it. The OM could hear the message and erase it before she heard it.


When OM contacted me through Classmates, I received an email that said I had a message from OM (his name) on Classmates. I had to log onto Classmates to receive the message. On that message he left his email address for me to write him. Classmates does not give out email addresses. If you are not a Gold Member, I believe you are able to reply once to a message. He was a Gold Member only for reasons of contacting me.