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2B

you are gradually becoming one of my heros

Pep

Pep, I am far from being any type of hero. I'm just trying to do the right thing.

The real heros on this board are the ones that never had an affair. The real heros are the ones that may have been tempted, but turned from that temptation. The real heros are all of the betrayed spouses who stand for their marriage. The real heros are all of you that continue to support and encourage others to do the right thing!.......I could go on, but there are many heros on MB! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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IWRA -Thank you for the encouraging support. I do like the email idea over being stressed over a possible phone call!

MrsW - Thank you for the link. That's pretty cool! I didn't know such a thing existed!

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2B

you are gradually becoming one of my heros

Pep

Pep, I am far from being any type of hero. I'm just trying to do the right thing. The real heros on this board are the ones that never had an affair. The real heros are the ones that may have been tempted, but turned from that temptation. The real heros are all of the betrayed spouses who stand for their marriage. The real heros are all of you that continue to support and encourage others to do the right thing!.......I could go on, but there are many heros on MB! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My beloved Mr Pep is my hero .... and we all know he did a very [censored] thing 10 years ago ... your current path is the hero's walk....

don't argue with me

accept the compliment and then shaddup ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Pep

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Mr2B is my hero!

I guess there is no arguing with Pep! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

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2B, so sorry to be here after the party has already started. You have received excellent advice here. Just wanted to give you an attagirl.

God Bless you.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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I guess there is no arguing with Pep!


smartest thing you ever said ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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2B,

Big K just directed me to your thread...

Wahoo! This is wonderful news!

I still have not heard from OM or OMW since I sent my two letters... not sure if I ever will.

H's IC said maybe OM had a trailer hitched to his truck because he was "going camping" (lol.) I guess I may never know what really happened.

I'm just so relieved I finally did it.

As soon as you mail yours out, you will too. A huge weight will lift.

Even if your H is a little weird about it, always remember it's healthy for your M. My H is coming around a little day by day.

Again... so proud of you. Much love and many blessings to you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

KM


Me: FWW (34)
H: BS (35)
Together 12 years, no children (yet)
LTA: 3 years
D-Day: Sept. 13, 2005 (I confessed)

So blessed, thankful and happy for my wonderful H...

"God lives in the gathering of saints."
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Katie Mae,
I appreciate your support! I have been watching your thread and wondering if the OM'sW will contact you.

You did the right thing...MUCH braver than me, as this has taken me some time to get to this point! This A has been over for some time now, and it's tough to have to bring all of this up in my mind again and write it in a letter! I'm just glad that my husband is now supporting me with sending the letter. He doesn't want to read it, but he will let me send it out.

Thanks again...and wishing you and your husband all the best ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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2B

have you read Schnarch's book

Passionate Marriage?

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Pep,
No, I have never read that book or even heard of it. I will look it up. What do you feel you gained from this book as opposed to other books?

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I revised the letter. Need opinions please! Thanks!



[color:"blue"]*********Edited Out*********************[/color]

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it's excellent

good job

Pep

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I like to follow Pep around and merely concur.

Good job.

Mr. W

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Thank you Pep! And thank you MrW...especially for some of the wording in my letter. Your suggestions were of great help!

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I'm praying for you hunny

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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2Be,
Very Nice! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Both in the letter, but even more so in the Gesture!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Just for myself:
I felt it was important to provide a minor disclaimer (since SOOO many posters always bring up the Argument that *MAYBE* the Other WS already outed themselves, without anyone knowing).
Also lets the BS See that your not just angry or otherwise being vindictive.

You know something like:
"Lastly, I sincerely Hope that your H has already confessed this information to you & that this is simply a conformation of what you already know.
If its not,
then I pray it can be the catalyst for Him to begin truly being FULLY open and Honest with you, as well as the beginning of Healing in your relationship".

Goodness,
don't ya just Hate all the Nit Pickers?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
(like me)!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

"Do this ......add this ......say this ........change that"
----- haa, haa, haa <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />----Seems so Easy when it Ain't "our" letter, huh?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> (hee, hee)
Sorry, not trying to be flipent .......simply trying to keep it light. (you know, serious topic and all) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Truly though,
it is very sound. {2 Thumbs Up!!}
It seems to give out Enough relevant information ......without being too graphic OR mean spirited.

From this BS,
You have my Thanx and gratitude for your Change of Heart and Mind! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Fooling people is serious business, but when you fool yourself it Becomes Fatal.

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I'm praying for you hunny

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Prayers are needed and appreciated!

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top rope,
Your added sentence is an excellent point. I will consider adding that. I'm 99.9999999999% positive that the OM has not told his wife. When my H spoke with him in May of this year, it was evident that he had not told his wife. Things could have changed since May, but I do have my doubts.

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Pep,
No, I have never read that book or even heard of it. I will look it up. What do you feel you gained from this book as opposed to other books?

oh my goodness ... it's an entire thread onto it's self !!!! ....

I usually don't recommend this book until I think someone is ready to take their marriage to the next level.... of deeper more amazing intimacy !!!

It is a challenging read. More didactic than Harley's rather "people-friendly" style.

Schnarch is challenging in the sense he takes many common notions of what makes a marriage intimate, and completely blows them away! For instance, the notion that happily married couples are a sort of "siamese-twin" of each other. WRONG!

Schnarch also points out ~~~> marriage is ~fluid~ ... and marriage is a "people growing" experience. The errors we make, and the difficulties we face staying married ... are opportunities to grow spiritually! We are supposed to have the problems we have.

And, Schnarch says ~~~> there is no "wrong reason" we get married. Ever. And, we ~always~ marry a person who is complimentary to our own level of integrity and differentiation. If we marry a immature dope , it's because we fit very well with that person.

If I had to say in one sentence what the book did for me ..... I'd say:

I realized that there was no really deeply spiritual and soulful marriage intimacy until I differentiate myself, and begin from my own integrity.

It's a completely life-long book for me.

I've picked it up from time to time and had a new "ah-ha!" moment .... one I was not ready for previously.

Just a suggestion, nothing more <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Pep

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PS

and the book is about sex

a lot about sex

the chapters are about sex....

deeply sexy sex

eyes open orgasm
hugging until relaxed

electric sex into your 80s

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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