i am usually soooooo good about not b*tching and complaining but i am in a mood and need to vent..

why is it that the one who screwed around, did all the cheating, all the lying, all the destruction, gets to live a BETTER lifestyle than me? how is that fair? my ex just got a new trailblazer. he already has an eclipse and a motorcycle. his ho drives a mustang! you do NOT even want to know what i am having to drive right now... because when ex and i split the cars went with him... grrrrrr..... i am just so peeved right now. i do not know how he can be such a shallow, hollow, evil, selfish person. i just can't. he is soooo materialistic. do you want to know how he can afford all this stuff? because of her! if he was having to live alone like me on JUST his income, he wouldn't have half the stuff he has. but he is no dummy. he shacked up with her. she pays most of the bills, so he can have his "stuff". you should see the money he has been throwing around. real good for my kids to see that. makes him look better because he has money to spend and i don't.

i'm just feeling sorry for myself i guess, and irritated. i am in school full time, i substitute teach, i work at a store... money is VERY tight right now for me. I would love to go and get a new car but i am not gonna go an shack up with someone just to use them for their money either. i know my time will come. once i am a teacher i will make good money again, and can have nice things again. i do have the marital residence but it is all i can do to afford it. it is just frustrating that is all. if he was not living with her he would not have all that stuff. and i see how much i struggle right now financially, it just doesn't seem right. i am not the one who cheated and lied and did all the stuff he did and yet he is living life high on the money and i struggle... there is something VERY wrong with this picture....
mlhb

Absolutely. I sympathize!

Yeah, it stinks. I'm still in favor of total body tweezing for the unrepentent waywards who do this to their betrayed spouses.

Yes, Yes, it sucks. I posted a few weeks back about meeting to drop off kids and ex had a brand new pickup. They have new stainless steel applicances, new camper, and jsut returned from mexico. He could NOT afford that all on his own, but combined incomes are nice, aren't they? Of course, I wouldn't know because I was SAHM when we were married.

Hy heart and hugs go out to you,

cm

It does "appear" that the spouses who did the hurting go on quickly live these exciting/easy lives.
While the one that was left to pick up the pieces usually is left struggling to make things right.
Know in your heart, you are laying a solid foundation for your children. It may take you longer to get there, but you will and it will be worth it.

Hang in there!
K.

Honey...all I can say is don't judge a book by it's cover...perhaps he is overcompensating for something?

Strongest

((mlhb))

You are correct - it is not fair or right.

I could have written a similar post in that my ex, the WS, makes tons of cash, lives in our home, hasn't messed upon on his job(afterall, he was not suffering as a WS) and will probably have an easy time finding a wife and having kids while I may never have a family.

About a week ago I said that, for me, it was like having the man who raped & beat you come into your hospital room while you are still trying to recover and say to you that he is doing great, he's in a high paying job, living in your home, taking your vacations, and plans to marry & have kids and start building the family memories that you used to dream about. It's incredibly, horribly unjust.

One thing a friend said to me was this... nothing about this whole thing has been fair to you and it may never feel fair. All you can do is move forward and do the best you can. For some reason, those words calmed me down. It is not fair, but I can't change it. Wish I could change it for all the BS out there.

You know, recently I saw a program on 48 hours or something like that. It was a story about adultery. A married doctor with 2 grown children got involved in an A with a nurse. He decided to divorce his wife. His wife, after 20+ (I think) years of marriage took the news hard and shot herself at their home. The adulterous couple married a few months later -- and had the wedding at the home. (Sheesh, these people had no shame.) Anyway, not long after that, the OWife was in a car accident and partially paralyed. Then the WS husband became ill and died, and the OWwife was charged with murder. (She remarried within months and I don't think he stuck around when she ran out of $.) Anyway, she ran out of $ because she had no hubby and the $ she got from the WShubby ran out due to her legal and medical bills. So, the WS was probably cheated on and murdered by his second OWife. The OWwife was alone & living in a formerly nice, now rundown house, was disabled, no one in the community would be her friend (and she wondered why - duh) and the grown children of the BS were testifying against her in a murder trial.

I doubt that every OP or WS gets their just rewards like that, but the point I'm trying to make is that you never know when their luck will turn. I do believe that no one gets a free ride in life and that eventually, whether now or later, we answer for our wrongs unless we are remorseful and try to make amends.

I hope things get better for you and for everyone else on this board.

p.s. ever see the movie Sliding Doors -- I have a copy now because it's about a women who is cheated on by her boyfriend and she loses her job-- so she must rebuild and in the end... well, you have to see the movie, but for me it had this message: even if you think someone else's life is better, or you wish you were on a different path, you may discover that the path you're on is better in the long run

*snort*

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

thank you all for your replies...
bottom line is he is selfish and materialistic and i think he is this way because he thinks "things" will make him happy. i don't need "things" to make me happy, for that i am glad.

i would just like a new car! and my college degree done NOW! mlhb

Patience dear.

I love the movie "Sliding Doors"
Everything in God's time, not ours.

I agree. My ex also lives better than me because she is living with the jerk she had her affair with. Two incomes are better than one. But, he does not make much money so she foots most of the bills. He did alright as before the split, we had accumulated quite a bit of assets. Now, he is enjoying the fruits of - at least partly - my labor. It doesn't seem quite right.

But, I have to remember that she is the one living with a cheater. She is the one who has earned the suspician if not disrespect of her children.

Yes, it's a trite and old saying, but I think it is true:
"Living Well Is The Best Revenge".

Enjoy yourself mlb.

I have not seen Sliding Doors. But, I did see the made for TV movie "Revenge of the Middle Aged Woman". It's an Americanized version of the book which was written about an English woman whose husband leaves her for a 30 year old.

All, I have to do is reverse the genders and it's pretty close to my story, except my ex's guy was not that young.

I won't tell you the ending, but she definetly gets the last laugh. And a far more interesting and exciting future.

By the way, it stars Christina Latte (sp?) who is living proof that a 50+ woman can be very sexy. Very. ;-)

Guys, why is that not fair?
Whoever earns more, they have more.
Whoever 'sell' themselves, they have more (and here is the catch - the one with paid bills (etc.) by their partner has to pay price somewhere else, and that part is just not so visible/tangible...)

My ex h bought a new car 2 weeks ago. Everything was set up by his OW who is also a car sales woman.

I did envy him but i would not let that get to me.

Always remember you have MORE than he.

If there's one thing I've learned, never judge a person's wealth by their car (or house or clothes). Americans in general are in debt up to the eyeballs; in many cases, people with an affluent lifestyle spend it as fast as they make it. Most people with the capacity and self-control to build real wealth and assets don't want to blow it on cars.

So true! (and, in addition, never judge a people's happiness! by... as above)

Btw, I was driving today (a very nice car I love :-) and in front of me there was a nice convertible, expensive, a couple in it...
The first thought - wow...
The second thought - I just couldn't help but "hearing" them fighting, being frustrated, unhappy, cheating... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> (for, from my experience too, 'things might be quite different than they seem to be...')

(Should I worry to have that sec. thought? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />