Hello,

D-Day for me was July 6,2006. Short story. My husband was activated for the Marines in December 2001. He was stationed in North Carolina and we decided that we would not uproot the girls and I would stay in New York. Looking back now BIG MISTAKE. He was home on leave quite a few time so we saw each other the first year every month and the rest every other month. Each year he was reactivated and and finally this year on April 1st he came home. Everything was fine. I knew that we needed an adjustment period. He finally went back to work on July 6th and I was looking for his laptop downstairs and instead found cards and information on Julie. The OW. I was devastated and called him immediately. He didn't call me back until 4:00 after work and he drove home immediately. We talked all night and I told him that our marriage was worth saving and that the separation was the cause of this. He felt that we grew apart and I told him now ******. We have been away from each other too long. I missed him terribly during those years and waited and waited for him return and now he is still away. I know that he is confused and needs time but I am very lonely and just want everything to work out. We have two beautiful little girls and they know everything. Which tore my heart out. I think that I am trying to hard and he is not. His job is two hours away and he has a safe haven with him parents for the days he works and I can't eat, sleep, or function. Going out in public is the hardest of all. When he is home I feel better and just wish he would open up. He is going to a therapist today and I am going on Thursday. I know that this will take a long time but I just don't want to be strung along anymore. I want this to work for me and my girls and for him. I know that we are good together and he needs to see that. I never realized how much I loved him until this very moment. I always new I did but not this much. The girls are very upset and my oldest told him that he was irresponsible and that she never thought that he could do something like this. She also said that she feels like he has abandoned us. I am so lost and confused. This was not the homecoming I was looking forward to.

Hopeless 1 [color:"black"] [/color]

Dear Hopeless,

All is not hopeless. Your insecurity is understandable. Your dedication to your girls is admirable. I love your daughter that stood up to her dad. It looks to me like your husband is going to have to make things up to more than one woman here because your daughter isn't going to let him get away with this either. I feel for you. It's a long road ahead.


May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be ever at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
And the rain fall softly on your fields
And until we meet again, May God hold
you in the hollow of his hand

Hello Hopeless!

Have you read MB principals and plan A?

Please read it. And expose the Affair.

How old are your daugthers?

Be strong. Your're not alone. keep posting. You just found a great place with great people.

Everyone pretty much knows. The only ones that don't is his parents. I can't do it. His mom is borderline depression and I am afraid what it will do to her.

My daughters are 14 and 11.

I am trying to be strong but it is very hard.

Hopeless [color:"black"] [/color]

You need to expose to his parents. Don't protect them at the cost of your marriage. They may side with him, but you still need to do it.

As soon as contact ENDS with the OW, he will want to work on the marriage again.

Well everyone knows now. He wants a divorce. We went to a therapist and the therapist basically supported him that he wanted out of the marriage and bring his OW up here. I am leaving to go to Florida with my girls and start over. He has no desire to work it out and I have no fight left in me.

Pray for us.

Hopeless