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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 24
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 24 |
My wife moved in with the enemy 3 months ago shortly after I found about about her affair. Since then I have tried to make contact with her the first month, and we talked allot but it went no where. I have exposed to her family and mine. The last two months we have not talked much. Tonight she is coming over to get some tickets to a concert. Should I be there and speak with her, she knows where I stand? The last few times we have speke I have told her I want to rebuild a new marriage,a nd whatever issues we had before we can work out. There needs to be NC with enemy, POJA, IC, and MC. Two converstaions ago she told me how impressed she was with me and my changes on trying to be a better person. The last time we talked all she did was babble about a divorce. I held my ground the best I could with reverse babble and tried to plant a seed things can be diffrent and I have a plan how. IMO I feel things will not chnage unless the enemy chnages feelings, not my wife.
Thanks
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
I suggest you be there and be upbeat and genuinely glad to see her. Be the opposite of angry and hurt, which is what she may expect.
No LBs.
No demands.
Tell her you hope she enjoys the concert.
Then write a Plan B letter.
Send it tomorrow.
In parallel, consult an attorney and get the scoop on your options.
You're young, no kids, and have been in a relatively short relationship. She has shown her true colors.
Plan B will give her the option of growing up. If she doesn't, you'll be money ahead and WAY smarter.
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 234
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Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 234 |
I am no expert but Mr W told me a few months ago. Whatever they expect you to do , do the exact opposite.
If she would expect you to be there, be out having a great time somewhere.
Leave a nice note and be unavailable.
I know being the opposite of my old self got a lot more reaction then being predictable.
Stay true to yourself!
Blind
BS (me) 36
WS 36
no kids
together 17 yrs
not married
D day 4/1/06
He was out of the house 5/10-6/5
NC as of 7/2/06
my story
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
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Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179 |
How about the best of all worlds - meet her in the driveway with your car running, dressed nicely, give her the tickets and be upbeat a la WAT, then say it's been nice chatting but you have to dash.
Then dash. You're a busy person, lol. (Even if you're only going to Burger King.)
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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