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Drucilla,

Contrary to WAT's interpretation of guy behavior, not all guys automatically think SF when they see a beautiful woman. I admit to noticing all the time... my W likes to catch me noticing... sometimes I see my W giving me a look and I know that there is a good looking woman near by that I haven't noticed yet... she's waiting for me to notice. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

BUT... unless I am purposely looking for a fantasy (and this is rare... atleast it's been rare since being a teenager <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> ) in my mind, my thoughts don't turn automatically to SF when I see the attractive woman.

I view it like looking at real estate. You can look at a lot of beautiful houses and admire them or appreciate certain qualities in them... but none of them are "Home". They don't have the comfort, the memories, the pieces of you in them that make them special to you. It is the same with seeing a beautiful woman... I can appreciate the beauty... but to think of them in a sexual way just doesn't happen.

I don't think many woman believe this of men. They think we just want one thing all the time... maybe that is because we do just want one thing all the time... with our spouse.<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Shaden


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!
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LMAO! "MoFo" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

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Drucilla,

Contrary to WAT's interpretation of guy behavior, not all guys automatically think SF when they see a beautiful woman.

Shaden

You know, I keep trying to give you guys the benefit of the doubt, but everytime I do, some guy jumps up and demands: "No, really, it's all we think about".

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

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LMAO! "MoFo"

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Me too Resilient...That gets me EVERYTIME! Also the "WTF" for Walking the Field...LOL! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

And Shaden your post was so refreshing to read...Thanks for that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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lol- I need a new name, I know.

Any suggestions?

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lol- I need a new name, I know.

Any suggestions?

Based upon one of your own insightful and clever musings, how 'bout ACarney? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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Please don't change it (Mo Fo), I love it.

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Please don't change it (Mo Fo), I love it.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />LOL Resilient...You just like typing "MoFo" and snickering...ADMIT IT!!! I DO!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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I have a thought - maybe she is justifying in her mind how she became the other woman in someone else's marriage.


That is not the case.

This is something that I do not consider myself to be capable of.

It would be like using someone else's toothbrush, or wearing their underwear. Sorry-if that's a little gross / judgemental but this is how I see it.

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Yeap ... You have me pegged, Mrs. W.

BTW, Jess (GF) no longer works for me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> He was one of my most talented contractors.

As you may know, he found a perm full time engineering opportunity. One where once he goes to court on custody for his daughter, this "perm" employment status will hopefully be viewed well by the judge. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Jo

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So at what part are you? You have the right circunstances and taken the little compromises? Are you having fun?



From my perspective, the "right" circumstances would mean that I would have to be "willing" and "able" to engage in this behavior. And, I am neither.

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Are you here looking for justifications to start an affair?

H#ll to the no.

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Resilient...

Great News About GF...I know you were sad to lose him, but this new job should bode well for custody! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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MoFo, you suggested that CS might have been an OW in her marriage. I don't know if it was you who said that before, but it is patently ridiculous.

CinnamonSugar assured us she did not take her husband from between someone else's legs, and we need to just accept her word on that. I'm sure she has been perfectly frank with us during her time here.



I am not sure whether you are being sarcastic given the recent emails I have received from two other MB veterans.

And yes-I have been frank, but my frankness was not rewarded...

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CS,

Maybe you could simply just come out and tell us why you're asking this question.

Give it a whirl.

Jo

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CS,

Maybe you could simply just come out and tell us why you're asking this question.

Give it a whirl.

Jo


I am asking for the same reason I visited Harley's site int he first place, and for the same reason I read self help books and books about relationships-I actually want to know about this stuff.

There is so much talk about this particular topic online and in real life. The difference here is that in this venue people tend to reveal more about what made them do it, how they felt, what led up to it, etc.


The way I feel about my husband-there is no way anyone could lure me away. And those are the facts.

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you really haven't rad harleys books have you- he says ANYONE could have an affair- funny thing I have noticed in life, those that say never usually do.

something to think about.

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and here I was thinking you are just here for entertainment at our expense.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Okay, so you're a behavioral research scientist who is data mining. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

If you're not willing to come clean and ditch your hidden agenda, why would you expect anyone here to be honest with you?

Its "glaringly" obvious you are hidding something.

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CS, have you noticed that almost without exception everyone on this board, WS and BS alike, has said "I never thought this could happen to me/us."

I'd been married and had been a loyal, faithful wife, in love with my husband for 28 YEARS before my A happened.

As my mother says, never say "never" and never say "always".

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I have been frank

Ok, who ya gonna be next? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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