A sinkin' Chinese buffet....that was all about quanity not quality....heck, I haven't had much of the feeling of actual dining anyhow.

Right now it's Bud Light and I'm going to read a little...thanks all.

Hey, she did just call, asked how I was and said she would be there .
She asked if I could control my emotions and I told her only....what you see is real, I don't usally control them but they are what controls me.

She also told me for some reason that after 1 yr. NC that her and OM went out 2 times....nothing went on, but tonight she again asked hi not to call and that they had no future.

She said that she can tell what a great love I have for her....and she said she also loves me....just not the same way.

I'm up early....really a weird feeling day already.

Guess the reason for it being that way.....maybe? I'll never know,the fog may burn off for her someday.

I let you all know how things went later. Blessings,,,,

Welder-

I'm so sorry this is going on. I know how you feel.

My husband STILL loves me but isn't in love with me........he STILL doesn't know what he wants.

OW dumped him about a week ago, and said she never wants to see him again, changed her cell/home phone #'s. I guess she finally reached her lie threshold when I called her from his phone (He had her cell number "hidden" under his bosses name in his cell phone contacts).

I assume he told he I was out of the picture, but I called her quite early in the A.M on a Sunday.....which meant I had spent the night, and I don't think she was too happy about that. Here I thought she was brainless, apparently she has one brain cell firing.

I wish you very good luck tommorrow and I said a prayer for you.

I'm not mad at the OW anymore, I've seen her twice recently at the gas station, and she looks like very unhappy person.
I was all smiles. My friend waved to her mockingly last time, I didn't even look over at her (She was parked right beside me.) I just got out and went into the gas station.

Let us know how everything goes.

And Orchid....that was some CLASSIC Reverse Babble!!!!

I still have never gotten that down. WH feels and had felt that I don't listen to him. Well he's talking a bunch of BS why should I listen?

Oh, by the way, he still wants to spend the rest of his life with me, grow old with me............he's just not ready to yet, any reverse babble for that!!?!?!?!?

God Bless,

-Caren

Welderman,
I pray for your strength and peace today. You have endured far too much. I have been there and realize the pain that you are now going through. There is a light at the end of this tunnel. You will look back on all of this... will have learned from EVERY bit of it and will shine as a man and partner. Life will get worse for a short while and then will get immeasurably better. Just make the decision today that she does not get back in... she only wants what she can't have... she has a M, she wants to be single... she has you... she wants om.... now that you represent a challenge, she may try and get you back. Be strong and keep your focus on the future, not the past. Beautiful things will come your way.
MEDC

It's done...things went pretty well at hearing, I stayed strong and when the judge asked me if I wanyed the state to dissolve my marriage due to incompatability....I said no I was ending it cause it was what my wife wanyed.

She broke down...and had a terrible time.

Afterward, we personally had a few papers of our own to sign...and she came behind me home to pick up her suite case and some more clothes.

Although she had left countless times she is yet to move out of here as far as her stuff goes.
Anyhow, here at home is where it hit her... she apolized, cried and told me she has been wanting to return home the whole time she was away...only she knows her love is'nt as much as mine and wants me to be happy. She asked if we could do some things together as ride the Harley etc...

I didn;t know what to say other than as I held her...I said..."thou I went thru so much the only feeling in me for you is love, no madness or bitter hate...but sorry that she never saw the amount of love I have for her."

We cried...hugged and kissed....she said, "I love you"...and I replied...the same but told her it was time I drew the line...she said she needs to be happy with herself anf maybe now she can.

Folks...it feels like I just buried her....I'm aimless on my direction right now as for the past...it was only thinking of her.

I ask for prayer for her..."Debby" former WW...rookie EXW.

God Bless and thanks.

you are a good man.

I just feel odd now.....really can't explain the feeling, but any suggestions on what moves to make next?

She went away with her Mother for the rest of the weekend....and like I said we have allot of moving/dividing yet to do.

For your own self you need to go dark. Plan B, not as a way to get her back but in an effort for YOU to decompress and prepare to move on. Sometimes, reconciliation occurs after divorce; but her actions (the divorce) clearly indicate her wish to move on....let her and hand her issues over to the Lord. Let him affect change. You've done enough "trying". Release it and go for "peace".

I say rent one of those POD storage lockers, have them deliver it and place it in your driveway. Move ALL her crap into it. Padlock it and give her the key, with a Plan B letter and give her 21 days to remove it or you'll let the POD people take it back and she'll have to pay them to get her stuff back (how ever it works).

You need to make a strong effort (thus appearing strong) to cut up all loose ends immediately and remove yourself from her completely. The letter will explain why. She is not your friend....you love your WIFE, not this person torturing you right now...with kisses and "I love you's" the day she divorces you.

Please, seek peace for yourself. YOU are important too.

Mr. Wondering

I really think, that she thought I'd pull back. When I took the stand, she began to cry....after I got home I saw where she had called me at home but I had already left for the court house.

She had told me early in the week she would have liked to keep seeing me.....This ???? I just can't see where it comes from.

Welderboy:

I'm glad 2 hear you're holding up as well as you are, and that you hold no bad feelings for your xWW. She will forever be someone you care a great deal for, you know? She sounds like a confused gal, but it's the confusion and selfishness 2 hold in contempt, not the person.

Orchid. I like what you relayed about what you said 2 your H, about wanting his happiness, even at your family's expense. I'm sure you saw Spacecase's update on the MB Photo thread. I truly admire how he's handled the relationship with his xW since their DV. And now it truly looks like her A finally did end - just not in time 2 save the M. But most definitely in time 2 save her. I'm happy for her. And I'm proud of Spacecase.

Welderboy, you're a good welderman. You'll recover and be truly happy soon. That's my prediction.

-ol' 2long

Anyone have more thoughts on the....way she said things she'd like to do yet.
She mentioned riding with me....and stuff and how can someone D then as leaving kiss you and commrnt that they love you?
I guess I'm still spinning cause awhile ago....my mind slipped into wondering if she went with her Mother or OM?
Whys that still work me also?

WB:

You'll even2ally get 2 a point where it doesn't matter how she gets where she's going or who she spends time with. I think that, until that time, you should consider not being around her at all. Give her a chance 2 see what life without you will really be like. Don't send her the message that you agree with her fantasy arrangement where she gets 2 string you along when she wants and be single when she wants. When it no longer matters what she's doing when you're not around, then if you want go ahead and go for rides 2gether on occasion.

But I'm betting you'll find another riding partner before that happens.

-ol' 2long

WB,

I know it is painful but stop beating yourself up with those questions. Let it go. You have done great. do NOT let her on your Hog. The best thing for her would be to see some other woman riding with you. Let her know you are moving on with your life. Let her know you have left her behind. Stop talking to her. Stop seeing her. That is the only thing that will really help her. It is the only way you two might ever get back together.

My WW has refused to commit herself to our M. She has continued to fence sit. I finally said enough. I finally said let's separate - permanently. I have never seen such a change. She will do anything to avoid that. She has suddenly become very interested in our M.

You let your XW fence sit and she knew she could bend the rules. You have showed her a new game and she is worried and confused. Let her sort that out on her own. You did all you could and more. Make sure you give her all her stuff. Don't give her any excuse to keep calling you.

I agree with pio. You are too available and nice to her, she needs to know you are moving on. And you need to truly be ready to move on without her.

It's hard to recommend this course of action to someone, because there is no guarantee that it will snap the WS out of the fog, but it sometimes happens (as with pio and myself). For that reason, I think he (Pio) and I did it when we were truly ready to let go and were no longer worried about our WW's reaction.

If you are truly ready to end this, give it a go. Stand up, be strong, and let her know you are not going to be sitting there while she plays with your emotions.

Thanks....you guys just gave me a little "tough love" but there is nothing wrong with that.

LATER.

I just wanted to say that sundog is right about my feelings. If I had not been ready to accept the possible outcome, I would not have taken the risk. I am fully prepared for my WW to come back and help us rebuild our marriage. But I am also fully prepared to lose her forever and get on with my life. My one year Plan A has given me that.

I am not suggesting you give up hope for your WW. But if you really do want her back, I think the best thing you can go is let go completely. Remove her safety net. It is a risk. It is a risk I feel I have to take in my sitch but I am also mentally at the point where I can do it.

Well, I guess if I wasn't thinking the same.....I may have tried to make an agreement with her the other day when she asked if I wanted to call it off. Thanks for the advice, I stay around here for awhile in the next few months keeping you posted. Good Night.

reminds me of a song I used to hear alot on the radio...


((((HUGS))))

It's a new beginning, but only if you can burn that dang bridge to your past. Plan B Dark.

Please stick around and let us know how you are doing.