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Jack wakes up with a huge hangover the night after a business social function.
He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And next to that, a single red rose!
Jack sits up in bed and sees his clothing in front of him, all cleaned and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that everything is in perfect order - spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, but cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. There’s a note on the table:
“Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go shopping. Love you!!”
Jack stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast and the morning paper. His college student son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son - what happened last night?”
“Well,” he replied, “you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and out of your mind like a frat boy. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”
“So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, and I have a rose and breakfast waiting for me?”
His son replies, “Oh, THAT! Well, Mom dragged you off the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
“Leave me alone, you $lut! I’m MARRIED!!!”
Broken table - $200.00 Hot breakfast $5.00 Red Rose - $3.00 Two aspirins - $.25 Saying the right thing at the right time - Priceless!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> WAT
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bwahahahhaaaaa <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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LOL!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49 DS 30 DD 21 DS 15 OCDS 8
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> LOL !
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> LOL! {hehehe}
WTF
*** Warning *** Make sure brain is engaged before shifting mouth out of Neutral.
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"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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Oh how I like that one, lol.
LLG=Living, Learning, Growing formerly reallyconcerned Trying to stop fearing and start living BS-35 WS-33 kids, yes 1 D-day 8/2003, 2nd D-day 1/2006 Current status: Working in Plan A.
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I love this more every time I see it.
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
L.
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OK, Dokey....Just sprayed coffee on my keyboard...What a lovely! Thanks.
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This joke is going around the world, WAT. I told it to several people (including my aunt, who is a 79 year old nun <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />) and there has been LOL in Belgium - all your "fault" ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
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Not my fault - because I got it from someone else!
I did change a few words to "track" it though - e.g., I added the "frat boy" description.
If you see this version from another source, yep - my fault. Or more correctly - the fault of whoever sent it on. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
WAT -------------------- Enamortization - to have an affair and end up paying for it for the next 30 years.
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Hi WAT, what does to "track" it mean in this context ? (sorry, I'm not English but a silly furriner as you probably "read" here <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />)
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OK -
"Track it" in this context means that I made a small change to the story in order to be able to identify this version if it comes around again via another source. If the same change is present in the version from another source, I know it most certainly originated from here at MB - since I didn't post it anywhere else.
Just a game I play.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> WAT
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I give it one week to end up in my email box at work or home.
Silly WAT...now I have to come back to MB when it arrives!
BTW how are things on your side of the world?
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OK -
"Track it" in this context means that I made a small change to the story in order to be able to identify this version if it comes around again via another source. If the same change is present in the version from another source, I know it most certainly originated from here at MB - since I didn't post it anywhere else.
Just a game I play.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> WAT you know those "win this car" contests in the mall? well I like to fill in the card with one of my pets' name and wait for all the credit card offers to be mailed to Simba ~meow~ Pep
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Aha... a tracking device ! ferry James Bondy ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Smart idea, really.
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Haha Pep.. good one ! But what if Simba starts buying things with them..? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
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Hi Knewj - things are terrific with me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
No complaints!
Cherry tomatoes are coming in gangbusters. Yummy!
Big maters and peppers close behind.
Gonna smoke a brisket on Sunday. This will give me about 8 hours of lounging on the patio with Coronas and Jimmy B. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
How are you? Who Knew? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
WAT ------------------ Flabrication - the weight on your driver's license.
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