Husband took me coming out pretty well about my could be affair (he wasnt as upset as i expected) Reason I found out 2 days later ::: He had this friend at work whom he happend to go to lunch with everyday, talked to everyday, boughtgifts for, b-dday x-mas etc..... But says he never had sex, or kissed said she tried & even asked when he was leaving me for her, said he started to have feelings for her & thats when he stopped talking to her & switched jobs I say this was an emotional affiar he says it was not..
What exactly is one???

Pretty much what you have described. What he has been doing.

Yep - text book case of an Emotional Affair. Clinched when they say "But she's my FRIEND". Like you are not!

Linda

Ya he was on the verge of an emotional affair but he wasn't quite their yet. He was basically at the line.

thank you

Absolutely...totally...100%...bona fide...no doubt about it.

well I personally had encountered my spouse having such emotional affair with his -ex-colleague (they resigned together from their previous company). My spouse has never sms or call me to ask how am I doing in the office or at home (when I am excused from work) even when I was sick and having serious morning sickness when I was pregnant. After they left the company, they sms each other asking each other well being. They even went out together to have lunch privately after they left the company!

Can anyone tell me is this call "emotional affair"?

I am very sad and confused. He assure me that he is very faithful to me but he lie that he did not sms her to ask her well being...but i saw his messages in his handphone!

Please help me!

mother of 2 boys age 15 & 12...married for 16 years...

Does an emotional affair include sex?

I must admit, I kept thinking EA stood for extended affair (my bad for not reading the acronyms section).

What if the partner was deeply involved physically and emotionally (like mine was)?

An emotional affair is when a person not only invests more of their emotional energy outside their marriage, but also receives emotional support and companionship from the new relationship.

In an emotional affair, a person feels closer to the other party and may experience increasing sexual tension.

There are several warning signs of an emotional affair.

* You are withdrawing from your spouse.

* You are preoccupied and daydream about your friend more and more.

* You are not interested in being intimate with your spouse, either emotionally or sexually.

* The amount of time you and your spouse spend together is less.

* When confronted about the apparent emotional affair, you respond, "We're just friends."

* You find yourself anticipating when you can communicate or be with your friend again. Alone time together is important to you.

* You are sharing your thoughts, feelings, and problems with your friend instead of your spouse.

* You find reasons to give your friend personal gifts.

* Your friend seems to understand you better than your spouse does.

* You are keeping your friendship a secret from your spouse

"An emotional affair is when a person not only invests more of their emotional energy outside their marriage, but also receives emotional support and companionship from the new relationship."

Personally, i'd say the first part of the sentence is the determining factor. It doesnt matter what they get back. it's how much they put INTO the thing, that makes it an affair.
IE: they put more energy and concern into this external relationship, than into their marriage. If the marriage doesnt come first, then it's an affair, no doubt about it.

Is it possible to have a really good friendship with a person of the opposite sex, outside your marriage, without it being an emotional affair?

techie, I feel that I am more comfortable with my friends than I am with my husband some of the time because of the insults that I recieve for exposing bits of me. I have an even mix of friends, and my gurliefriend is married as well. I don't feel that it is an emotional affair that I'm going through. I just have an outside support system. Then again, my husband accuses me of "airing out our dirty laundry" to people that we BOTH knew ever since high school. What do you think?

Key components that define an emotional affair in my situation were:

My H was keeping his relationship with OW a secret from me. He had told me he had e-mailed her (former HS girlfriend). What he did not tell me was that he was contacting her several times a day for 3 weeks.

He was not investing more into this relationship than the marriage. But he was investing a lot of emotional energy into the relationship and the investment was increasing daily.

He was being rather seductive with his language to her--sort of like kidding on the square--seeking her admiration of him.

Secrecy was key however, as it allowed him to get out of control with the set of interactions with her and he said things to her that he did not want me to know he was saying.
Lake