Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 2 1 2
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 624
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 624
Yes I like the WTF - it is straight forward and as you say gives them the option to see DD or not.

I think I will go with this. Such a minor thing really, but I want to get it right. thanks again


Me BGF 40
WBF 36
DD 4 yr now
DDay April 05
Plan A Mid Oct 05

XWBF & OW broke up Oct 06
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 624
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 624
Ok - I just plucked up the courage to ring XWBF parents and got no response - they must be out. I gotta say my heart beat went into over drive.

Guess I will try again later today.

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 833
W
Member
Member
W Offline
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 833
Keep us in the loop!

I hope it goes well for you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


WTF *** Warning *** Make sure brain is engaged before shifting mouth out of Neutral.
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 624
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 624
Well, I made contact with XWBF parents, in fact I had a bit of a problem tracking them down and in the meantime XWBF phoned me to say that his parents wanted to see DD. So after not getting much direction from XWBF on how this was going to happen, I tracked them down and spoke to them about what they wanted to achieve and agreed that they could come the very next day which is what they wanted to do.

They came on Sunday and have also requested to see DD and Me without XWBF present, so will probably come sometime next week after I have finished work for the day. They came armed with gifts which DD thought was great, she especially like the ladybird umbrella, that was put on display and not allowed to be more than a foot away from her for the next few hours. Very cute indeed.

Whilst talking with XWBF parents on the telephone, they asked how I was doing - I didn't really know how to answer, and nearly ended up in tears. I mean, I think my response was - I'm going OK. Next time I am thinking of asking them do you really want to know and responding with the last 1.5 years has been tough, at times a big struggle to get from day to the next, but DD and I are getting there. Not sure what else to tell them without going into detail and glossing over the situation.

They tried to make small talk, and have asked about my work, what I am doing, where it is etc, these are details of my life that I have kept from XWBF, because I don't want him involved, it is hard to answer questions like these without sounding vague and rude. I think I was polite and DD and I even made some homemade biscuits for their visit, but I guess you can say I was reserved with my answers to their questions.

I am struggling with the situation from this point - XWBF parents have not communicated with me for over a year, I sent them an email just over a year ago letting them know what XWBF was up to (Affair and living with OW), and since that day I haven't heard a thing from them. I felt let down by them, unsupported, I had been quite close to them in the past, and it seems that now they want to pick up and pretend that nothing has happened. I know they are excited about seeing DD again, and they probably don't know how to handle the situation - it just seems crappy that all is swept under the carpet - so to speak!

Well, I thought I would give you an update and thanks for your support.

Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 624
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 624
Hi All

A small update for those who may be interested. Well XWBF parents have been and gone, there were many changes to our agreed contact agreement, whilst they were here, I agreed to all but one of their wishes to see DD over the 6 weeks they were here. even to the point where I left work mid afternoon to pick DD up from daycare so they (XWBF and his parents) could spend the rest of the afternoon with her and returned to work.

Things have settled down, I have been getting on with my own life, work is busy and I am enjoying things again. I don’t ring XWBF or return his calls unless it is an emergency. Now here is the interesting thing – ever since XWBF parents have returned to Australia, XWBF hasn’t brought OW with him when he is visiting DD on alternate Sundays. In fact he has asked me to join them on their outings which is strange, especially considering he took me to court so I would agree to allow OW around DD. I agreed once to go with XWBF and DD, and afterward he left me a message saying how he had a great time and had a nice day! He has been ringing more often (I let his calls go to voicemail), and hanging around a bit more once DD is in bed having a sleep. He also, phoned last week and wanted to know if I was taking DD to a fireworks display and Saturday night, or having fireworks at home that he could join us on! A Saturday night away from OW – how strange is that! In case you are wondering, I didn’t return his call.

This is getting me to think that his relationship with OW is cooling down or may even be over – not sure which. Not sure what to do about this situation, at the moment I am ignoring it, and am waiting to see what is revealed.

Well that is my update.

Page 2 of 2 1 2

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 298 guests, and 79 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
finnbentley, implementsheep, rafaelakutch, DGTian120, MigelGrossy
72,044 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by still seeking - 08/09/25 01:31 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,525
Members72,045
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0