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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 94
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 94 |
1)I cant understand why FWH even needs to heal. I'm the victim yet the villain needs to heal his broken heart! That there were once romantic & emotional links that need to be cut off, (in addition to physical NC) hurts. I feel jealous. LA said 2yr A is likely LTA though."
You accept you cannot understand that your FWH is going through withdrawal...from a fantasy. That was severely hard for me, too...his heart feels broken...it isn't. The self-backlash when he really gets to all of what he thought was real, isn't, is devastating...drug withdrawal...not from a person. I hope this helps you through this time.
"2) Someone suggested FWH may feel guilt for OW also. I see OW as trash that FWH just shakes off & walk away from. But that's not the case. I feel indignant."
Temporarily, FWH may feel guilt...seeing himself in the total destructor perspective, including the OW...mine did...until he got that OW wasn't real at all...took time...because confusion beween fantasy and reality is what the FWH is in and trying to sort through...remember, right now is not forever...it is temporary. Respecting whatever it is he thinks, feels, believes and perceives is HIS, helps. what you wrestle is what you do; what he does is his...hold that belief and try not to judge, expect, control...what is not yours, 'k?
LA Hi LA This separation of fantasy & reality is just I need to save my sanity, rid my jealousy & indignity. It gives tremendous comfort & is great consolation as I continue on my journey to learn not to judge & expect control........ I realise that to sustain stamina, there's much "talking to oneself" - consoling self, encouraging self etc. Thanks for helping me do this better. BTW pampered myself with shopping yesterday & got myself a new wardrobe. Ha, still remmember what pep said about rewarding self for all my hard work & perserverence. Sure am one contented gal now..... & a confident looking too with a refreshed wardrobe. Wow endofworldnomore
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 94
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 94 |
We had our weekly chat last nite. FWH shared that he feels responsible for kids & I. I feel proud that he's brave man to come to this realisation. On the other hand, I feel lousy it's responsibility, not love."
Please don't cut off your own well-being by DJing...he feels responsible...he sees his choice, choosing you and family. Choosing to love can't be far away, can it?
Stay present, EOW...and hear what is being said, shared and do not allow yourself to judge your way into resentment.
You are a blessing, EOW. Remember that, too.
LA (FWH) Choosing to love (me) cant be far away...... :-) Such wonderful dose of hope. Or is it expectation? Sometimes, it's not so easy to tell them apart huh? Whatever, it's a very life-giving thot..... Yes, will focus on not judging & letting go of what I cant control. And yes, a pat on the back for being a blessing myself too! I count all you wonderful MBers who have given me & so many others like me the best possible advice & support, as the best blessings I have, other than my FWH with a willing heart endorworldnomore
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 94
Member
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 94 |
We had our weekly chat last nite. FWH shared that he feels responsible for kids & I. I feel proud that he's brave man to come to this realisation. On the other hand, I feel lousy it's responsibility, not love."
Please don't cut off your own well-being by DJing...he feels responsible...he sees his choice, choosing you and family. Choosing to love can't be far away, can it?
Stay present, EOW...and hear what is being said, shared and do not allow yourself to judge your way into resentment.
You are a blessing, EOW. Remember that, too.
LA Wow what wonderful hope! That of FWH choosing to love (me) being not too far away. Or is it expectation? Not easy to tell apart ...... but who cares...... I breathe this life-giving hope.... Will work at cutting down on judging & letting go of urge to control what I cant control Yes, me a blessing too, very sweet notion..... I take that compliment too. But you MBers who have given me so much advice & support are the ones with the most dazzling halos. You helpful souls are my greatest blessings, just like my willing FWH.... enofworldnomore
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