maybe this will be more clear if you see my other poss. been up most all night.

talked to steve h yesterday...gave me a good line to say to H: "would it not be the ideal scenario that the parents of our kids to be in love with each other?"--he agreed, but before i suggested the research part of it, he said, sure, but thats not possible and i dont want it. i tried to get back to the point---he would not have it..started a bad thing with me..know i cant get engaged, but he pushed me and got so nasty..again with this, i dont want to be with you..that finally i said, well, maybe you should leave.

finally disclosed to my mom...right off, she said, is there someone else? i said, oh mom, i dont know anything for sure, but i have been thinking there might be something with ...and SHE FILLED IN THE NAME. she cried, said she had suspected, gave examples from his recent bday party, as had my neighbor who attended (same party,diff ex). I WAS SHOCKED, BUT VINDICATED. i am NOT crazy.

funny thing happened (anti-MB): i want him gone. it all seems so completely impossible to fix, ESP if he wont fess and ESP ESP if he doesnt want this at all. he is making me miserable..i can hardly function..and he wouldnt go with plan a when i tried (tho i admittedly didnt force)

thoughts? im feeling sick. ugh..

i meant to post under GQII..moved there sorry