My WW just found a lawyer last week through one of her other already divorced friends. Since our divorce will be rather simple, she has some paperwork from her lawyer which asks for specific financial information about assests, retirement accounts, credit card accounts, work income, etc. My question is: should I fill out this form and send it off with my WW?

As I write this I'm answering my own question, no. Should I secure my own lawyer?

At this point I want this divorce to happen just as much as WW. Should I file on my own, or should I trust her lawyer?

I guess I don't really know how this works and don't want to get duped into anything here.

No.


Yes, if necessary. Explained below.


Not necessarily; NO, do not "trust" her lawyer.

I am a paralegal. Uncontested divorces prepared in our office (and other firms where I've worked in the past) are based on agreements as indicated by the filing party. If push comes to shove, a conflict arises - that attorney will only be looking out for your W's best interests and unable to adequately inform you of your rights. In other words, attorneys cannot represent both sides.

What we do is prepare the initial paperwork: the petition and settlement agreement based on information provided by the filing party, and also a basic response the other party may choose to sign with or without advice of their own counsel upon reading the proposed agreements. The response basically says you're entering an appearance in the divorce action, agree with the facts in the petition, and do not contest the settlement agreement, which you also choose to sign. That's a green light to move forward with the final paperwork utilizing only one attorney. But make no mistake, that one attorney IS her attorney and you are signing of your own accord.

Do not fill out the paperwork yourself. My educated guess is the attorney asked your W to fill out the paperwork and return it. She should do that to the best of her knowledge and then you can see what comes back to you for signature. Tell her at this point, you're willing to sign her proposal as she relates it to the attorney - if you deem it reasonable.

One option you have, feeling the tiniest bit uncomfortable, is to take the paperwork her attorney prepares to another attorney, for consultation. Ask any Q's. You don't have to necessarily hire that attorney to make an appearance in the action, you can just pay for the one meeting. Then, once your Q's are answered and you're assured the paperwork is reasonable, you can still sign the response and settlement agreement through her attorney.

Follow lucks advise.

Also, if you live in a "FAULT" state, you'll come out on top. If you live in a "NO FAULT" state like California, everything that was acquired during your M is divided equally.

If your wife goes after your assets (retirement, 401K, savings, etc) they calculate the amount half the time you were married to the time of physical separation. You can do the same to her.

GET an attorney. Get your your finances together.

Good luck.

I called a lawyer whom I had a brief consultation with and she told me my wife's lawyer will represent her only. My lawyer said she would review the initial paperwork but would not look at the copy I will have to sign if she is not retained for something like $2000 (which is a little steep just to review papers.)

Luck, you're saying I shouldn't fill out paperwork? Don't I have to reveal all assests, savings, and retirement plans?

While I want to be safe on this, I feel like there's really no way my wife (and her lawyer) can trick me into anything here. It will all be in plain text, right? No addendums or anything weird?

The bottom line is as long as my W and I agree on how assests will be divided and put that on the papers I will sign, then there cannot be some surprise later where she decides to go for my assests.

At this time the only thing she can go for is my 401K which is much bigger than hers. But if she tried to go for that, I would at that point hire my lawyer and make sure it's not worth WW's time or money but you never know what people are putting into her head especially her lawyer.

If I review everything thoroughly there shouldn't be any surprises. Our divorce is what is known as a summary dissolution and it is basically the 1040EZ tax equivalent of a divorce in my state. This is a no fault state, so even though my W cheated, she has the same rights as me in this. Good old West Coast. On the other hand, if things go right, we could be divorced in less than a week.

You're asking if you can trust your current WW and her lawyer to not hose you? Is this a serious question?